[[A banner reads: “A purposeful use of what society would discard”]]

[[The headline reads: “Non-traditional gardening tools. Rather than spending for specialized implements, use these household items:” Several numbered pictures are displayed.]]

[[A headline lower down reads “Tools Guide.” Numbered paragraphs describe the referenced pictures.]]

[[Of a sailboat: “1. Model sailboat can be used to repel aphids from plants. Aphids have a Jungian aversion to open water, and the presence of the boat implies a nearby regatta.”]]

[[Rope: “2. Ordinary parcel twine can be used to tie saplings to posts, rather than some kind of special gardening twine. It’s not like you’re going to use it for parcels. The only people who still tie parcels with twine are grandmothers, and that’s only because the mail clerks feel bad yelling at them to knock it off.”]]

[[The hollow top half of a ball: “3. Instead of discarding the half-balls left over from a game of slice-the-ball-in-the-garden, use them to cap off leaky sprinklers or plug gopher holes. The rubber balls are biodegradable, given a long enough timeline.”]]

[[A contraption with black paper sticking out: “4. X-ray viewers are great for spot-checking leaves for suspicious veining. Good gardens need a lot of work and attention.”]]

[[A strange-looking lipstick: “5. No need to get dolled up any longer, now that your obssessive (sic) gardening has killed romance? Use that lipstick to mark crop rows in the vegetable garden. The oily stain will serve as a warning to the sprouting plants never to set their sights too high.”]]

[[The lid to the lipstick: “6. The lid to the lipstick can catch tears, which, instead of wasted on him, can be put to use for irrigation!”]]

[[A bulb: “7. Now that you’re ‘going green’ and harvesting your earwax to make biodiesel, you won’t need this ear-cleaning bulb anymore. Plant it and see if it grows. It’s not a dumber idea than staying in this marriage.”]]

[[A conveyor belt: “8. He paid $200 for this five years ago and never even used it. Throw it in the garden and see if he even notices it’s gone.”]]

[[A whistle: “9. Blow this whisle in joy if he ever bothers to ask how the garden is coming. Screw baseball season.”]]

{{alt-text: A gardening tool is just any possession you don’t mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES}}

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 6 (of 8) transcribed by in

[[A banner reads: “A purposeful use of what society would discard”]]

[[The headline reads: “Non-traditional gardening tools. Rather than spending for specialized implements, use these household items:” Several numbered pictures are displayed.]]

[[A headline lower down reads “Tools Guide.” Numbered paragraphs describe the referenced pictures.]]

[[Of a sailboat: “1. Model sailboat can be used to repel aphids from plants. Aphids have a Jungian aversion to open water, and the presence of the boat implies a nearby regatta.”]]

[[Rope: “2. Ordinary parcel twine can be used to tie saplings to posts, rather than some kind of special gardening twine. It’s not like you’re going to use it for parcels. The only people who still tie parcels with twine are grandmothers, and that’s only because the mail clerks feel bad yelling at them to knock it off.”]]

[[The hollow top half of a ball: “3. Instead of discarding the half-balls left over from a game of slice-the-ball-in-the-garden, use them to cap off leaky sprinklers or plug gopher holes. The rubber balls are biodegradable, given a long enough timeline.”]]

[[A contraption with black paper sticking out: “4. X-ray viewers are great for spot-checking leaves for suspicious veining. Good gardens need a lot of work and attention.”]]

[[A strange-looking lipstick: “5. No need to get dolled up any longer, now that your obssessive (sic) gardening has killed romance? Use that lipstick to mark crop rows in the vegetable garden. The oily stain will serve as a warning to the sprouting plants never to set their sights too high.”]]

[[The lid to the lipstick: “6. The lid to the lipstick can catch tears, which, instead of wasted on him, can be put to use for irrigation!”]]

[[A bulb: “7. Now that you’re ‘going green’ and harvesting your earwax to make biodiesel, you won’t need this ear-cleaning bulb anymore. Plant it and see if it grows. It’s not a dumber idea than staying in this marriage.”]]

[[A conveyor belt: “8. He paid $200 for this five years ago and never even used it. Throw it in the garden and see if he even notices it’s gone.”]]

[[A whistle: “9. Blow this whisle in joy if he ever bothers to ask how the garden is coming. Screw baseball season.”]]

{{alt-text: A gardening tool is just any possession you don’t mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES}}

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 6 (of 8) transcribed by in

[[A banner reads: "A purposeful use of what society would discard"]]

[[The headline reads: "Non-traditional gardening tools. Rather than spending for specialized implements, use these household items:" Several numbered pictures are displayed.]]

[[A headline lower down reads "Tools Guide." Numbered paragraphs describe the referenced pictures.]]

[[Of a sailboat: "1. Model sailboat can be used to repel aphids from plants. Aphids have a Jungian aversion to open water, and the presence of the boat implies a nearby regatta."]]

[[Rope: "2. Ordinary parcel twine can be used to tie saplings to posts, rather than some kind of special gardening twine. It's not like you're going to use it for parcels. The only people who still tie parcels with twine are grandmothers, and that's only because the mail clerks feel bad yelling at them to knock it off."]]

[[The hollow top half of a ball: "3. Instead of discarding the half-balls left over from a game of slice-the-ball-in-the-garden, use them to cap off leaky sprinklers or plug gopher holes. The rubber balls are biodegradable, given a long enough timeline."]]

[[A contraption with black paper sticking out: "4. X-ray viewers are great for spot-checking leaves for suspicious veining. Good gardens need a lot of work and attention."]]

[[A strange-looking lipstick: "5. No need to get dolled up any longer, now that your obssessive (sic) gardening has killed romance? Use that lipstick to mark crop rows in the vegetable garden. The oily stain will serve as a warning to the sprouting plants never to set their sights too high."]]

[[The lid to the lipstick: "6. The lid to the lipstick can catch tears, which, instead of wasted on him, can be put to use for irrigation!"]]

[[A bulb: "7. Now that you're 'going green' and harvesting your earwax to make biodiesel, you won't need this ear-cleaning bulb anymore. Plant it and see if it grows. It's not a dumber idea than staying in this marriage."]]

[[A conveyor belt: "8. He paid $200 for this five years ago and never even used it. Throw it in the garden and see if he even notices it's gone."]]

[[A whistle: "9. Blow this whisle in joy if he ever bothers to ask how the garden is coming. Screw baseball season."]]

{{alt-text: A gardening tool is just any possession you don't mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES}}

A gardening tool is just any possession you don't mind irreparably soiling, CHARLES

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 6 (of 8)

— May 4th, 2011

[ Tags: craft, diagrams, tinkerer ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/tink6/

(Start from Page 1.)

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

May 25, 2026 by David Malki !

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!

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