Easy Step-by-Step Instruction List -- Utterly Foolproof
Home-Build a Potato Injector
[[Picture of Potato Injector - It's got a crank, a needle, some faded potatoes in the background, and a picture of it being injected into some guys arm]]
Start - Time: A Weekend - Difficulty Moderate
Everyone has experienced trouble related to insufficient potato consumption. But how to make time for the labor involved in regular kitchen preparation? With the Potato Injector, the time for fretting is past. Using surgical-grade tubing, the Injector pipes pulped potato nectar into your body intravenously.
(1) Prepare your whittling tools. A good sharp chisel is of first importance in this work. Add to your kit an oilstone and strop. Place a few drops of oil on the stone and grind your blade upon its coarse side, then strop to remove the burr.
(2) Carve the necessary implements from a piece of dry cordwood (Fig. 1). Always try the wood before cutting into it, to ascertain which way the grain runs. In clear basswood it is usually quite straight, but sometimes it runs at a slight angle.
[[Picture of a hand crank attached to a cylinder]]
(3) Assemble the parts (Fig. 2) If you have carved them correctly they will go together in a very intuitive fashion. Some have reported shock at not landing upon this design independently, so simple and clear is it to create and build.
[[Abstruse depiction of a hand putting some sort of ring on a cylinder thing with a flared end]]
(4) Peel all potatoes (Fig. 3) before inserting into the injector. Potato-skins will clog the needle.
[[Picture of someone peeling a potato]]
(5) Tie off arm above the elbow and tap to make the basilic vein bulge. Daub with iodine and give the needle-crank three full turns.
(6) Once needle has seating, use foot pedal to advance nectar at a rate of one pint per minute.
{{alt-text: TROUBLESHOOTING: The injector becomes clogged after veinous insertion. SOLUTION: Pump foot-pedal vigorously. Potato will resume flowing.}}
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