Here lie most of the biggest remaining chunks of David Malki !

With reference to today’s comic — a few weeks ago, Boston hosted a marathon epitaph-writing session between myself, Joey & Emily, Ryan, Randall, and Kris. Some of my favorites (that I can remember):

~ Here lies Emily Horne, or at least her most recent host body
~ Here lies Joey Comeau, or at least someone wearing his face
~ Here lies Randall Munroe and the items his atoms have been fused with
~ Here lies Ryan North, PROVEN WRONG FOR ONCE
~ Here lies Kris Straub / 1979-2004, 2005, 2007, 2010
~ David Malki ! / 1980-2005 / 2010-

What’s your epitaph? Leave a comment and share!

  • Chirpzilla

    I’d like to include a reference to some as-of-yet-but-surely-will-be developed technology, just so that at some point somebody would say “All this time we’d believed that transporters didn’t exist until the early 2100’s, and yet HERE is a tombstone where the guy died from a routine transporter accident in 2010!”.
    You know, just to fuck with the future historians and all.

  • Occultette

    Emma H

    Just resting her eyes

  • Rizz Rustbolt

    Here Lies Rizz Rustbolt: We’re pretty sure she’s dead this time.

  • Morphine

    Here lies Lars A.
    We buried what pieces we could find.

    Here lies Lars A.
    This gravestone paid for by the Bunny Ranch for our most valued customer.

    .enihcaM sdrawkcaB eht fo rotnevnI
    .A sraL seil ereH

  • Morphine

    If this grave appears empty or recently disturbed, please notify the CDC at 555-OUTBREAK.

  • TimP

    * Fade from black A face shrouded in shadow appears. *

    “Hello is this thing on? … Ah, good. Greetings people of Earth. My name is Tim; well my last name isn’t important. If you’re watching this sometime in the past six months I have passed away. May I rest in peace.”

    “You may be wondering why this is relevant to you. It’s quite simple really; most people are only really remembers for a few decades after they death at best before slipping into obscurity. I wish to avoid this fate, and still be talked about for centuries or even millenia to come.”

    “To that end I have constructed twelve nuclear warheads and positioned them in orbit. In 48 hours one [figure holds up one finger] of these missiles will be fired at one of twelve major cities.”

    * A list of twelve cities including Tokyo, Paris, Moscow, Los Angeles, etc are displayed with approximate populations, and also Latitude-Longitude. *

    “You can choose which one. Simply go to and vote for the city you would like to see destroyed. Every IP address in the world will receive one vote.”

    * Change back to the shadowy face. *

    “Please note that if less than one million votes are received, or if the site is taken down all twelve warheads will be deployed.”

    “Thank you and good bye.”

    * Fade to a stock image of a nuclear explosion. *

  • Bryoninny

    Here lies Bryoninny
    Having a lovely time. Wish you were here!

  • stu

    Here lies Stu

  • Emily

    Emma H

    Just resting her eyes