Comic Transcripts

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader’s ACTUAL home planet with Vader’s ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader’s ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma’s house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole “Empire” problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding…and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here’s a better explanation: He didn’t wear Jedi robes on Tatooine… He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It’s so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he’s not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He’d probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could’ve found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore ’em before they figured out how racist it was

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me transcribed by in

ARON and BEREN continue to discuss their theories about Star Wars.

B: Okay, so. We know Obi-Wan, the brilliant general, had the bright idea to hide Luke from Vader on Vader's ACTUAL home planet with Vader's ACTUAL relatives. Giving him Vader's ACTUAL last name.

A: Which is a bit like the witness protection program hiding you at your grandma's house

B: While he and Yoda figured this whole "Empire" problem would WHAT? SOLVE ITSELF if they let it gain inertia for twenty years?

B: But what we ALSO learned from the prequels is that those brown robes he wore? APPARENTLY THE STANDARD JEDI OUTFIT. So he went into hiding...and then STAYED IN UNIFORM the whole time.

A: Here's a better explanation: He didn't wear Jedi robes on Tatooine... He wore TATOOINE ROBES while a JEDI.

A: THINK about it. He visits Tatooine as a padawan. It's so SAVAGE and EXOTIC. He ADOPTS the aesthetic like a CORUSCANT HIPSTER.

A: Then, when he has to go into hiding, of COURSE he gives some flimsy excuse why Luke will be better off with these STEP-STRANGERS he's not even ACTUALLY related to! It lets him indulge his Tatooine fetish full-time!

B: Obi-Wan is a TATOOINE OTAKU! He'd probably have taken a Sand Person WIFE if he could've found one SUBMISSIVE enough!

Overhearing this conversation is CAREN. This is now too much; she speaks up.

C: YOU TWO. Come ON.

C: Mace Windu and Qui-Gon wore the SAME robes.

B: Yeah, well, probably LOTS of people wore 'em before they figured out how racist it was

Obi-Wan: ''We need to keep this baby ignorant of his parentage. So instead of adopting him, like the Organas are doing with theirs, I recommend inventing a story about a long-lost father who died under mysterious circumstances.'' Beru: ''Um...'' Owen: ''GREAT''

#1194; It’s the Dune Sea for Me

  — January 29th, 2016

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1194/

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

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— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

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— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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