[[Two men sit in an automobile; one drives]]
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Man 1: ACK
Man 2: Oh no! You just hit a possum!
Man 1: Vicious creatures. One less of 'em to terrorize children.
Man 2: He'll never go home to his little possum family.
Man 1: He doesn't have a family! He lives under a rock, writing hateful possum manifestos and designing mail bombs.
Man 2: His little possum wife has dinner all ready. His little possum children have drawings they made at possum school. But daddy's not coming home!
Man 1: Because he was out kidnapping squirrels to torture in twisted experiments. His fetid dungeon is filled with the stench of despair. But no more! The forest need tremble in fear no longer!
Man 2: Can we at least agree that his next of kin will grieve for him
Man 1: His next of kin is a stitched-together construct of fur and bone and lipstick he calls "Sally"
{{header: rationalize WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Most likely the possum was, like us all, generally well-intentioned despite having some distinct faults.}}