Comic Transcripts

[[Two turkeys.]]
BARRY: Imagine, a year from now, one of us will be the democratically-elected CHANCELLOR of the barnyard.
JOHN: We have hard campaigns before us, old friend.
How will the animals choose which of us will make a better LEADER?

JOHN: Well, I’ll just explain to the livestock how YOU like to pal around with WOLVES.
BARRY: What? Then I’ll tell them YOU voted to give the farmer a SHARPER AX!
JOHN: That vote was to BUY NEW TOOLS for the WHOLE FARM! Including FEED BUCKETS!
BARRY: AND chainsaws, which could potentially be used to DISMEMBER EVERYBODY!

BARRY: Look, the goats know I’m no wolf. So I KNOW you’ll go after the SHEEP–and they’ll BELIEVE you!
But what happens if a REAL wolf shows up? If you make ME into the ultimate bogeyman, there’ll be not outrage left for the REAL danger!
The new chancellor will need to UNITE the barnyard…so why make that job harder by spending a solid year DIVIDING it?
And BECOMING EVERYTHING WE HATE in order to do so?
JOHN: One word: CHICKS.

{{Header: poison the well at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Barnyard Chancellor is primarily a ceremonial position anyway. The Viscount of the Hayloft has all the real power.}}

#453; In which All’s Fair, supposedly transcribed by in

[[Two turkeys.]]
BARRY: Imagine, a year from now, one of us will be the democratically-elected CHANCELLOR of the barnyard.
JOHN: We have hard campaigns before us, old friend.
How will the animals choose which of us will make a better LEADER?

JOHN: Well, I’ll just explain to the livestock how YOU like to pal around with WOLVES.
BARRY: What? Then I’ll tell them YOU voted to give the farmer a SHARPER AX!
JOHN: That vote was to BUY NEW TOOLS for the WHOLE FARM! Including FEED BUCKETS!
BARRY: AND chainsaws, which could potentially be used to DISMEMBER EVERYBODY!

BARRY: Look, the goats know I’m no wolf. So I KNOW you’ll go after the SHEEP–and they’ll BELIEVE you!
But what happens if a REAL wolf shows up? If you make ME into the ultimate bogeyman, there’ll be not outrage left for the REAL danger!
The new chancellor will need to UNITE the barnyard…so why make that job harder by spending a solid year DIVIDING it?
And BECOMING EVERYTHING WE HATE in order to do so?
JOHN: One word: CHICKS.

{{Header: poison the well at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Barnyard Chancellor is primarily a ceremonial position anyway. The Viscount of the Hayloft has all the real power.}}

#453; In which All’s Fair, supposedly transcribed by in

[[Two turkeys.]]
BARRY: Imagine, a year from now, one of us will be the democratically-elected CHANCELLOR of the barnyard.
JOHN: We have hard campaigns before us, old friend.
How will the animals choose which of us will make a better LEADER?

JOHN: Well, I'll just explain to the livestock how YOU like to pal around with WOLVES.
BARRY: What? Then I'll tell them YOU voted to give the farmer a SHARPER AX!
JOHN: That vote was to BUY NEW TOOLS for the WHOLE FARM! Including FEED BUCKETS!
BARRY: AND chainsaws, which could potentially be used to DISMEMBER EVERYBODY!

BARRY: Look, the goats know I'm no wolf. So I KNOW you'll go after the SHEEP--and they'll BELIEVE you!
But what happens if a REAL wolf shows up? If you make ME into the ultimate bogeyman, there'll be not outrage left for the REAL danger!
The new chancellor will need to UNITE the barnyard...so why make that job harder by spending a solid year DIVIDING it?
And BECOMING EVERYTHING WE HATE in order to do so?
JOHN: One word: CHICKS.

{{Header: poison the well at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Barnyard Chancellor is primarily a ceremonial position anyway. The Viscount of the Hayloft has all the real power.}}

Barnyard Chancellor is primarily a ceremonial position anyway. The Viscount of the Hayloft has all the real power.

#453; In which All’s Fair, supposedly

  — October 20th, 2008

[ Tags: , , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/453/

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

[image or embed]

— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

[image or embed]

— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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