#1061; In which a Cookie is refused

Comic Transcripts

[[A young woman offers a cookie to a man.]]
Cookie advocate: Want a cookie?
Hunter-gatherer: Nah, thanks – I don’t eat refined foods. We didn’t EVOLVE for it!

Hunter-gatherer: Our bodies aren’t OPTIMIZED for any of that stuff. I eat meat and nuts and raw veggies only!
Hunter-gatherer: AND I don’t wear shoes. They make your feet weak!
Hunter-gatherer: I barely wear clothes at ALL! Only NATURAL fibers, of course!

[[The hunter-gatherer has put on a large mask and tank.]]
Hunter-gatherer: And since we evolved to breathe clean, UNPOLLUTED air, I carry around this tank!
Hunter-gatherer: Masks weren’t around in the Pleistocene, though, so I have to constantly inflate and reinflate this SEAL BLADDER
Hunter-gatherer: I basically breathe through a bagpipe

Hunter-gatherer: I can’t wear glasses, since those were invented too late, so I stumble around a lot…
Hunter-gatherer: The TDAP vaccine’s also modern, so I have to hope I never step on a rusty nail. So far I’ve been lucky!

Hunter-gatherer: But I’m pretty happy. Got a healthy lifestyle. In touch with nature. Talk to birds a lot.
Hunter-gatherer: Tried to set up a blog, but blogs aren’t paleo… so now I drum on rocks and whittle spears. It’s a life I chose.

Cookie advocate: Are you sure you don’t want a cookie?
Hunter-gatherer: Okay LOOK I need to be clear that the issue isn’t what I WANT it’s what I ALLOW MYSELF to HAVE because I dearly need the illusion of CONTROL

{{header: just like WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: really instead of any modern devices what I’d rather have is a bevy of single-function birds and dinosaurs coexisting with me in a symbiotic flintstonian utopia}}

#1061; In which a Cookie is refused transcribed by in

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!