Writing: The Fourth Pac-Man Ghost Posts on Craigslist

Rejected by McSweeney’s:


The Fourth Pac-Man Ghost Posts on Craigslist

Bike for sale – $50 (bicycles):

10-speed bike for sale. It’s blue — sorry, I don’t know much about bikes. Great condition, never used. I got it as a gift but unfortunately have no legs.

Yellow sweater at Starbucks (missed connections):

You: Gorgeous brunette, trendy sunglasses, legs for days. Me: Orange ghost. Coffee?

Take over my lease! (rooms & shares):

Looking for college student or other to take over my spot in cozy 4-person unit. Roommates are only home intermittently throughout the day. Few amenities, but centrally located. Neighborhood is a real maze though.

life in the rat race (rants & raves):

work used to be fun back when i got to make kids smile…but my only clients nowadays are smelly maladjusted man-child nerds…i hate my co-workers…such jerks…never live with the same people you work with…you have no privacy…and the worst part is…i can’t even masturbate
i have no genitalia

Looking for Exciting Job (resumes / job wanted):

Current gig is getting repetitive so I’m looking for something new. Travel, new horizons a plus. Resume below.

(1980-present): Ghost
Member of elite security team for pharmaceutical concern.
Duties include: Guarding pills, running around, light clerical.

Blender/smoothie maker (items wanted):

Used is fine. I gotta start doing something with all this damn fruit. It’s just going to waste.

sub seeking big asian dom (casual encounters):

looking for someone big and yellow to chase ME around for a while

1 thought on “Writing: The Fourth Pac-Man Ghost Posts on Craigslist”

Comments are closed.

Recent blog posts