Comic Transcripts

[[Indoors. A kitchen. CRAYLIA has earbuds in her ears, and her eyes closed. BARBATHA shouts from out of frame to get her attention.]]

BARBATHA: Hey Craylia, did you… CRAYLIA. CRAYLIA.

[[Craylia removes one earbud and turns toward Barbatha with her eyes open.]]

CRAYLIA: OH, sorry! I was just–
BARBATHA: Drums deep in a PODCAST, I know!
CRAYLIA: Yes, I like to fill my idle moments with enlightenment and entertainment! Right now I’m listening to one called EYE BEFORE ME.

CRAYLIA: The hosts track down and interview ALL THE PREVIOUS OWNERS of a subject’s GLASS EYE. It’s actually quite fascinating…full of pathos AND interesting tidbits about the glass eye secondary market. Did you know ALL KNOWN GLASS EYES were manufactured between 1740 and 1915? NONE since then! The WAR killed the last guy who knew the secret! Like STRADIVARIUS!

BARBATHA: Sorry, I started singing to myself when I sensed you growing excited.
CRAYLIA: Seeing a FULL PLAYLIST is like pulling a warm blanket out of the dryer. I never have to be alone. Podcasts are the promise of the internet made real. No matter what I’m into, or what mood I’m in, SOMEONE out there is making something that speaks to me.
BARBATHA: I’d feel like I was in front of a firehose. Are you LISTENING to them all? Or are they just building up in your phone like digital cholesterol?

[[Craylia has returned her earpod to her ear and closed her eyes again.]]

CRAYLIA: Right now I’ve got unlistened-to episodes totaling… 875,122 HOURS.
BARBATHA: That’s TWICE as long as you’re likely to LIVE!
CRAYLIA: Well…there’s actually a lot of promising research being done into increasing the human lifespan… I heard about it on a podcast

{{header: subscribe and review WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1336; In which Much remains Unheard Of transcribed by in

[[Indoors. A kitchen. CRAYLIA has earbuds in her ears, and her eyes closed. BARBATHA shouts from out of frame to get her attention.]]

BARBATHA: Hey Craylia, did you... CRAYLIA. CRAYLIA.

[[Craylia removes one earbud and turns toward Barbatha with her eyes open.]]

CRAYLIA: OH, sorry! I was just--
BARBATHA: Drums deep in a PODCAST, I know!
CRAYLIA: Yes, I like to fill my idle moments with enlightenment and entertainment! Right now I'm listening to one called EYE BEFORE ME.

CRAYLIA: The hosts track down and interview ALL THE PREVIOUS OWNERS of a subject's GLASS EYE. It's actually quite fascinating...full of pathos AND interesting tidbits about the glass eye secondary market. Did you know ALL KNOWN GLASS EYES were manufactured between 1740 and 1915? NONE since then! The WAR killed the last guy who knew the secret! Like STRADIVARIUS!

BARBATHA: Sorry, I started singing to myself when I sensed you growing excited.
CRAYLIA: Seeing a FULL PLAYLIST is like pulling a warm blanket out of the dryer. I never have to be alone. Podcasts are the promise of the internet made real. No matter what I'm into, or what mood I'm in, SOMEONE out there is making something that speaks to me.
BARBATHA: I'd feel like I was in front of a firehose. Are you LISTENING to them all? Or are they just building up in your phone like digital cholesterol?

[[Craylia has returned her earpod to her ear and closed her eyes again.]]

CRAYLIA: Right now I’ve got unlistened-to episodes totaling… 875,122 HOURS.
BARBATHA: That’s TWICE as long as you’re likely to LIVE!
CRAYLIA: Well…there’s actually a lot of promising research being done into increasing the human lifespan… I heard about it on a podcast

{{header: subscribe and review WONDERMARK.COM}}

The bigger question is, what am I gonna do with all these Casper mattresses???

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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