Comic Transcripts

[[A drowning individual cries for help while a wealthy-looking citizen turns a blind eye. The water looks less than a foot deep, but the drowning person is lying on his back, unable to stand up.]]
Drowning Person: HELP! Please help me up!
Aristocrat: I shan’t! I KNOW you wet people!
Aristocrat: It’s just a ploy to get me close so you can pick my pocket!

Aristocrat: Besides, you probably fell in of your own accord! HOW are you to learn to stay dry if I HELP you?
Drowning Person: Someone pushed me in… I was once as dry as you!

Aristocrat: A likely story. If you don’t admit your own faults, how will you EVER improve?
Aristocrat: Just get up! It doesn’t look deep.

Drowning Person: I twisted my ankle when I fell. Just a hand for a moment, please…
Aristocrat: I’d rather let a HUNDRED MEN DROWN than accidentally help ONE whose misfortune is JUSTIFIED.
Aristocrat: If there is the SLIGHTEST chance that you brought this condition upon yourself, you DESERVE to sit there.

[[Another elderly person joins in on the conversation.]]
Commentator: Water vagrant. This lake used to be NICE.
Aristocrat: Miserable. Someone should DO something for the poor creatures.

{{header: drift over to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Really, I’d rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all}}

#1122; In which a Man Drowns transcribed by in

[[A drowning individual cries for help while a wealthy-looking citizen turns a blind eye. The water looks less than a foot deep, but the drowning person is lying on his back, unable to stand up.]]
Drowning Person: HELP! Please help me up!
Aristocrat: I shan’t! I KNOW you wet people!
Aristocrat: It’s just a ploy to get me close so you can pick my pocket!

Aristocrat: Besides, you probably fell in of your own accord! HOW are you to learn to stay dry if I HELP you?
Drowning Person: Someone pushed me in… I was once as dry as you!

Aristocrat: A likely story. If you don’t admit your own faults, how will you EVER improve?
Aristocrat: Just get up! It doesn’t look deep.

Drowning Person: I twisted my ankle when I fell. Just a hand for a moment, please…
Aristocrat: I’d rather let a HUNDRED MEN DROWN than accidentally help ONE whose misfortune is JUSTIFIED.
Aristocrat: If there is the SLIGHTEST chance that you brought this condition upon yourself, you DESERVE to sit there.

[[Another elderly person joins in on the conversation.]]
Commentator: Water vagrant. This lake used to be NICE.
Aristocrat: Miserable. Someone should DO something for the poor creatures.

{{header: drift over to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Really, I’d rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all}}

#1122; In which a Man Drowns transcribed by in

[[A drowning individual cries for help while a wealthy-looking citizen turns a blind eye. The water looks less than a foot deep, but the drowning person is lying on his back, unable to stand up.]]
Drowning Person: HELP! Please help me up!
Aristocrat: I shan't! I KNOW you wet people!
Aristocrat: It's just a ploy to get me close so you can pick my pocket!

Aristocrat: Besides, you probably fell in of your own accord! HOW are you to learn to stay dry if I HELP you?
Drowning Person: Someone pushed me in... I was once as dry as you!

Aristocrat: A likely story. If you don't admit your own faults, how will you EVER improve?
Aristocrat: Just get up! It doesn't look deep.

Drowning Person: I twisted my ankle when I fell. Just a hand for a moment, please...
Aristocrat: I'd rather let a HUNDRED MEN DROWN than accidentally help ONE whose misfortune is JUSTIFIED.
Aristocrat: If there is the SLIGHTEST chance that you brought this condition upon yourself, you DESERVE to sit there.

[[Another elderly person joins in on the conversation.]]
Commentator: Water vagrant. This lake used to be NICE.
Aristocrat: Miserable. Someone should DO something for the poor creatures.

{{header: drift over to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Really, I'd rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all}}

Really, I'd rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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