Comic Transcripts

[[ROYCEMANN, in a top hat, comments; JEDDERSON seems barely interested.]]

ROYCEMANN: So weird to think about someone STEALING something from you. The type of person who sees a phone on a table and just TAKES it. Sees a bag on the back of a chair, and WALKS OFF with it.

ROYCEMANN: At first you think you LOST it. WHERE did you PUT it? You HAD IT earlier, and now it’s GONE.

ROYCEMANN: You retrace your steps, entertaining options that are progressively more unlikely. Maybe CINDY picked it up, thinking it was HERS? Maybe it fell out the window and is THIS VERY MOMENT sitting at the HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT LOST & FOUND?

ROYCEMANN: Slowly the worst option becomes the only remaining option. You can never PROVE it, so you still never quite forgive yourself for MAYBE having forgotten it, or walked off without it…

ROYCEMANN: Because THEFT requires a mindset that’s foreign. Why would someone DO that? For a thrill? For drug money? To punish you for leaving it unattended?

[[Jedderson is now wearing Roycemann’s hat.]]

JEDDERSON: Must be nice, being so sheltered.

ROYCEMANN: You…

ROYCEMANN: I suspect you have stolen my hat but another expression of this same neurosis is being too timid to confront you directly

{{header: take away from WONDERMARK.COM}}

#982; In which Thievery is pondered transcribed by in

[[ROYCEMANN, in a top hat, comments; JEDDERSON seems barely interested.]]

ROYCEMANN: So weird to think about someone STEALING something from you. The type of person who sees a phone on a table and just TAKES it. Sees a bag on the back of a chair, and WALKS OFF with it.

ROYCEMANN: At first you think you LOST it. WHERE did you PUT it? You HAD IT earlier, and now it's GONE.

ROYCEMANN: You retrace your steps, entertaining options that are progressively more unlikely. Maybe CINDY picked it up, thinking it was HERS? Maybe it fell out the window and is THIS VERY MOMENT sitting at the HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT LOST & FOUND?

ROYCEMANN: Slowly the worst option becomes the only remaining option. You can never PROVE it, so you still never quite forgive yourself for MAYBE having forgotten it, or walked off without it...

ROYCEMANN: Because THEFT requires a mindset that's foreign. Why would someone DO that? For a thrill? For drug money? To punish you for leaving it unattended?

[[Jedderson is now wearing Roycemann's hat.]]

JEDDERSON: Must be nice, being so sheltered.

ROYCEMANN: You...

ROYCEMANN: I suspect you have stolen my hat but another expression of this same neurosis is being too timid to confront you directly

{{header: take away from WONDERMARK.COM}}

it's...it's a community hat. it's meant to be passed around. no, no, it wasn't my grandfather's, ha ha. that is just a lie I told. earlier. to make you like me. anyway, enjoy the hat

#982; In which Thievery is pondered

  — November 15th, 2013

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/982/

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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