Comic Transcripts

[[The now trainless HAT-WEARING CHILD comes across a TOW-HEADED URCHIN playing with a train.]]

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Oh, cool, you’re playing trains? Can I play?

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: YOU can’t play TRAINS!

[[The urchin points a gnarled, unattractive stick at the trainless child.]]

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: Here, play with THIS.

HAT-WEARING CHILD: That’s a STICK.

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: You can PRETEND it’s a train.

HAT-WEARING CHILD: That’s stupid.

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: I don’t HAVE to give you ANYTHING.

[[The child goes to play with his stick.]]

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Choo choo. Look at this stupid stick. We got the dumbest train in the yard. It looks like a dang stick!

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Whoo whoo! Make way for stick train!

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Great train. Best train around. Stick train.

[[The DISGUSTED GIRL and ANGRY-LOOKING BOY return for more abuse.]]

DISGUSTED GIRL: LOOK at that dumb kid in a hat. He thinks that STICK is a TRAIN!

ANGRY-LOOKING BOY: Gah! Kids in hats are SAVAGES! His kind probably PREFERS sticks.

{{header: make do with WONDERMARK.COM}}

#957; In which a Train is taken (Part 2) transcribed by in

[[The now trainless HAT-WEARING CHILD comes across a TOW-HEADED URCHIN playing with a train.]]

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Oh, cool, you're playing trains? Can I play?

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: YOU can't play TRAINS!

[[The urchin points a gnarled, unattractive stick at the trainless child.]]

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: Here, play with THIS.

HAT-WEARING CHILD: That's a STICK.

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: You can PRETEND it's a train.

HAT-WEARING CHILD: That's stupid.

TOW-HEADED URCHIN: I don't HAVE to give you ANYTHING.

[[The child goes to play with his stick.]]

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Choo choo. Look at this stupid stick. We got the dumbest train in the yard. It looks like a dang stick!

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Whoo whoo! Make way for stick train!

HAT-WEARING CHILD: Great train. Best train around. Stick train.

[[The DISGUSTED GIRL and ANGRY-LOOKING BOY return for more abuse.]]

DISGUSTED GIRL: LOOK at that dumb kid in a hat. He thinks that STICK is a TRAIN!

ANGRY-LOOKING BOY: Gah! Kids in hats are SAVAGES! His kind probably PREFERS sticks.

{{header: make do with WONDERMARK.COM}}

all aboard the stick train. whoops. nobody can fit on the stick train. everybody off the stick train. okay. you were already off the stick train because that's how you started. stick train rolls alone. stick train is empty. stick train is unprofitable. stick train is retired to a rusty old junkyard. stick train's decrepit sides are used in a stock photo to advertise a vintage-style shaving brush.

#957; In which a Train is taken (Part 2)

  — August 14th, 2013

[ Tags: , , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/957/

Continued from yesterday.

Buy a Print

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


Recent blog posts