Comic Transcripts

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone who’s smarter than me is a nerd! Everyone dumber ‘n me is an idiot!

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone older than me is a geezer! Everyone younger ‘n me is a kid!

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone less promiscuous than me is a prude! Everyone more promiscuous is a slut!

DROP-DEAD ED: Hey, what do you think about people louder and more annoying than you?
CRUSTY BILL: I think they’re –
DROP-DEAD ED: TRICK QUESTION NO SUCH THING

{{header: tell everyone at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: conversely, everyone quieter than you may actually be tolerable to be around}}

#333; In which Everyone had better Shape Up transcribed by in

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone who’s smarter than me is a nerd! Everyone dumber ‘n me is an idiot!

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone older than me is a geezer! Everyone younger ‘n me is a kid!

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone less promiscuous than me is a prude! Everyone more promiscuous is a slut!

DROP-DEAD ED: Hey, what do you think about people louder and more annoying than you?
CRUSTY BILL: I think they’re –
DROP-DEAD ED: TRICK QUESTION NO SUCH THING

{{header: tell everyone at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: conversely, everyone quieter than you may actually be tolerable to be around}}

#333; In which Everyone had better Shape Up transcribed by in

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone who's smarter than me is a nerd! Everyone dumber 'n me is an idiot!

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone older than me is a geezer! Everyone younger 'n me is a kid!

CRUSTY BILL: Everyone less promiscuous than me is a prude! Everyone more promiscuous is a slut!

DROP-DEAD ED: Hey, what do you think about people louder and more annoying than you?
CRUSTY BILL: I think they're -
DROP-DEAD ED: TRICK QUESTION NO SUCH THING

{{header: tell everyone at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: conversely, everyone quieter than you may actually be tolerable to be around}}

conversely, everyone quieter than you may actually be tolerable to be around

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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