Comic Transcripts

[[A booming voice thunders from an office building.]]

Fidelity Mutual hath DEFILED themselves before me. Thou shalt put their executive board to the sword.
Their cubicles shall become dung-hills and their parking garage a wasteland: I am the LORD.
Their OFFICE MANAGER thou may takest for thy spoils.

[[God Almighty, the Lord of Hosts, the King of Kings, speaks to a room full of office workers.]]

Harken to my words, ye servants of the Most High, and ye freelancers too:
personal emails are an abomination unto my sight.
If ye drinketh the last of the coffee and not maketh more, thou shalt be put to death.
For any INTERN thou hast raped, thou must forfeit one sick day.

Caption: If God of the Old testament ran a fortune 500 company
God: And lo, I shall bring pestilence and locusts to all of accounts payable, until someone teaches Cynthia the proper use of the ‘REPLY ALL’ button.

[[header: jesus is my executive v.p. at WONDERMARK.COM]]
[[alt-text: there are ten commandments but eight of them are about parking spaces and the other two are about food left in the fridge over the weekend]]

#219; In which God has an Expense Account transcribed by in

[[A booming voice thunders from an office building.]]

Fidelity Mutual hath DEFILED themselves before me. Thou shalt put their executive board to the sword.
Their cubicles shall become dung-hills and their parking garage a wasteland: I am the LORD.
Their OFFICE MANAGER thou may takest for thy spoils.

[[God Almighty, the Lord of Hosts, the King of Kings, speaks to a room full of office workers.]]

Harken to my words, ye servants of the Most High, and ye freelancers too:
personal emails are an abomination unto my sight.
If ye drinketh the last of the coffee and not maketh more, thou shalt be put to death.
For any INTERN thou hast raped, thou must forfeit one sick day.

Caption: If God of the Old testament ran a fortune 500 company
God: And lo, I shall bring pestilence and locusts to all of accounts payable, until someone teaches Cynthia the proper use of the ‘REPLY ALL’ button.

[[header: jesus is my executive v.p. at WONDERMARK.COM]]
[[alt-text: there are ten commandments but eight of them are about parking spaces and the other two are about food left in the fridge over the weekend]]

#219; In which God has an Expense Account transcribed by in

[[A booming voice thunders from an office building.]]

Fidelity Mutual hath DEFILED themselves before me. Thou shalt put their executive board to the sword.
Their cubicles shall become dung-hills and their parking garage a wasteland: I am the LORD.
Their OFFICE MANAGER thou may takest for thy spoils.

[[God Almighty, the Lord of Hosts, the King of Kings, speaks to a room full of office workers.]]

Harken to my words, ye servants of the Most High, and ye freelancers too:
personal emails are an abomination unto my sight.
If ye drinketh the last of the coffee and not maketh more, thou shalt be put to death.
For any INTERN thou hast raped, thou must forfeit one sick day.

Caption: If God of the Old testament ran a fortune 500 company
God: And lo, I shall bring pestilence and locusts to all of accounts payable, until someone teaches Cynthia the proper use of the 'REPLY ALL' button.

[[header: jesus is my executive v.p. at WONDERMARK.COM]]
[[alt-text: there are ten commandments but eight of them are about parking spaces and the other two are about food left in the fridge over the weekend]]

there are ten commandments but eight of them are about parking spaces and the other two are about food left in the fridge over the weekend

#219; In which God has an Expense Account

  — August 8th, 2006

[ Tags: , , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/219/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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