Comic Transcripts

[[A mustachioed man, Malki !, stands in his library reading. He is dressed in a white tuxedo.]]
Malki !: Oh. Hello there! I’m David Malki !, explorer, industrialist, and CEO of Wondermark Industries …

[[Walks over to a set where a man is preparing to take a photograph.]]
Malki !: Behind the scenes here at Wondermark, we work to ensure that only the highest quality product reaches your homes and offices.
Photographer: Lose the pince-nez, Chuck. We’re going for upper-middle, not idle rich with this one.
Chuck: Gotcha.

[[A technician in a lab coat is sitting at a computer workstation.]]
Malki !: Our scientists and technicians toil ’round the clock, honing the anachronisms and incongruities that have become synonymous with “Wondermark.”

[[Two scientists stand with a tribesman in a grass skirt and tiki mask.]]
Scientist 1: … So 25% more “ooga booga,” and hold the spear two degrees left …
Tribesman: Like this?
Scientist 2: Better.

Malki !: Why do we do this? Some might say it’s because we’re crazy … well, if caring about your customers is crazy, then we don’t want to be … DAMMIT! Line?
Higgins: (out of frame) “Sane,” Mr. Malki !, sir.

Malki !: … we don’t want to be Spain.
Director: (out of frame) — aaand CUT!

[[Malki ! removes his tie while talking to his assistant.]]
Malki !: Thank God that’s done! Higgins, where’s my goddamn appletini?! Denise, cancel my appointments. And fire Higgins.
Higgins: (rushes over with a martini glass) Coming Mr. Malki !, sir!

{{alt-text: every word the gospel truth}}

#214; Guest Comic by Steve Carey transcribed by in

[[A mustachioed man, Malki !, stands in his library reading. He is dressed in a white tuxedo.]]
Malki !: Oh. Hello there! I’m David Malki !, explorer, industrialist, and CEO of Wondermark Industries …

[[Walks over to a set where a man is preparing to take a photograph.]]
Malki !: Behind the scenes here at Wondermark, we work to ensure that only the highest quality product reaches your homes and offices.
Photographer: Lose the pince-nez, Chuck. We’re going for upper-middle, not idle rich with this one.
Chuck: Gotcha.

[[A technician in a lab coat is sitting at a computer workstation.]]
Malki !: Our scientists and technicians toil ’round the clock, honing the anachronisms and incongruities that have become synonymous with “Wondermark.”

[[Two scientists stand with a tribesman in a grass skirt and tiki mask.]]
Scientist 1: … So 25% more “ooga booga,” and hold the spear two degrees left …
Tribesman: Like this?
Scientist 2: Better.

Malki !: Why do we do this? Some might say it’s because we’re crazy … well, if caring about your customers is crazy, then we don’t want to be … DAMMIT! Line?
Higgins: (out of frame) “Sane,” Mr. Malki !, sir.

Malki !: … we don’t want to be Spain.
Director: (out of frame) — aaand CUT!

[[Malki ! removes his tie while talking to his assistant.]]
Malki !: Thank God that’s done! Higgins, where’s my goddamn appletini?! Denise, cancel my appointments. And fire Higgins.
Higgins: (rushes over with a martini glass) Coming Mr. Malki !, sir!

{{alt-text: every word the gospel truth}}

#214; Guest Comic by Steve Carey transcribed by in

[[A mustachioed man, Malki !, stands in his library reading. He is dressed in a white tuxedo.]]
Malki !: Oh. Hello there! I'm David Malki !, explorer, industrialist, and CEO of Wondermark Industries ...

[[Walks over to a set where a man is preparing to take a photograph.]]
Malki !: Behind the scenes here at Wondermark, we work to ensure that only the highest quality product reaches your homes and offices.
Photographer: Lose the pince-nez, Chuck. We're going for upper-middle, not idle rich with this one.
Chuck: Gotcha.

[[A technician in a lab coat is sitting at a computer workstation.]]
Malki !: Our scientists and technicians toil 'round the clock, honing the anachronisms and incongruities that have become synonymous with "Wondermark."

[[Two scientists stand with a tribesman in a grass skirt and tiki mask.]]
Scientist 1: ... So 25% more "ooga booga," and hold the spear two degrees left ...
Tribesman: Like this?
Scientist 2: Better.

Malki !: Why do we do this? Some might say it's because we're crazy ... well, if caring about your customers is crazy, then we don't want to be ... DAMMIT! Line?
Higgins: (out of frame) "Sane," Mr. Malki !, sir.

Malki !: ... we don't want to be Spain.
Director: (out of frame) -- aaand CUT!

[[Malki ! removes his tie while talking to his assistant.]]
Malki !: Thank God that's done! Higgins, where's my goddamn appletini?! Denise, cancel my appointments. And fire Higgins.
Higgins: (rushes over with a martini glass) Coming Mr. Malki !, sir!

{{alt-text: every word the gospel truth}}

every word the gospel truth

#214; Guest Comic by Steve Carey

  — July 21st, 2006

[ Tags: ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/214/

Guest comic by Steve Carey of Poppycock Theatre.

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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