Comic Transcripts

[[A news desk scene. Pundit GERARD addresses the viewer.]]

GERARD: Experts agree that we need to take drastic isolation measures to have any hope of slowing down the spread of VIRULENT CHEWBACCUENZA — so-called for the howling sound it makes your larynx make.

GERARD: But are we REALLY at that point YET? If we shut everything down too early, then we risk unnecessarily disrupting people’s lives, even jeopardizing their jobs and ability to feed their families…
But if we wait until it’s too late, we will have missed the chance to make a meaningful dent in what could become a VERY dire situation over time…

GERARD: Some are saying we are already too late. Others think we should still wait and see. Who’s right about this? Luckily for you, it’s ME.
Right now, it’s TOO EARLY. Everyone should stop the panic and just be reasonable.
Right NOOOWWW, it’s STILL too early. We’re cautiously observing events and evaluating all options.
The time to shut everything down IIIISSSSS…..
NOW.

CAPTION: Soon:
[[Another anchor, JARNATHAN, is sitting at the news desk, wearing an old-fashioned diving suit with spherical diving helmet. GERARD has half-slid under the desk.]]
JARNATHAN: At SOME point we’ll need to EMERGE from our backyard bunkers. But can anyone tell us when it will be considered safe to do so?
GERARD: Luckily, I’m available! I’ll be happy to lend my experRAWHHHOWOW

{{header: touch elbows with WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1513; One Flu Over the Chewie’s Nest transcribed by in

[[A news desk scene. Pundit GERARD addresses the viewer.]]

GERARD: Experts agree that we need to take drastic isolation measures to have any hope of slowing down the spread of VIRULENT CHEWBACCUENZA -- so-called for the howling sound it makes your larynx make.

GERARD: But are we REALLY at that point YET? If we shut everything down too early, then we risk unnecessarily disrupting people's lives, even jeopardizing their jobs and ability to feed their families...
But if we wait until it's too late, we will have missed the chance to make a meaningful dent in what could become a VERY dire situation over time...

GERARD: Some are saying we are already too late. Others think we should still wait and see. Who's right about this? Luckily for you, it's ME.
Right now, it's TOO EARLY. Everyone should stop the panic and just be reasonable.
Right NOOOWWW, it's STILL too early. We're cautiously observing events and evaluating all options.
The time to shut everything down IIIISSSSS.....
NOW.

CAPTION: Soon:
[[Another anchor, JARNATHAN, is sitting at the news desk, wearing an old-fashioned diving suit with spherical diving helmet. GERARD has half-slid under the desk.]]
JARNATHAN: At SOME point we'll need to EMERGE from our backyard bunkers. But can anyone tell us when it will be considered safe to do so?
GERARD: Luckily, I'm available! I'll be happy to lend my experRAWHHHOWOW

{{header: touch elbows with WONDERMARK.COM}}

Hard to seize the moment when you're trying to keep a safe distance from it

#1513; One Flu Over the Chewie’s Nest

  — March 15th, 2020

[ Tags: ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1513/

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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