#1513; One Flu Over the Chewie’s Nest

Comic Transcripts

[[A news desk scene. Pundit GERARD addresses the viewer.]]

GERARD: Experts agree that we need to take drastic isolation measures to have any hope of slowing down the spread of VIRULENT CHEWBACCUENZA — so-called for the howling sound it makes your larynx make.

GERARD: But are we REALLY at that point YET? If we shut everything down too early, then we risk unnecessarily disrupting people’s lives, even jeopardizing their jobs and ability to feed their families…
But if we wait until it’s too late, we will have missed the chance to make a meaningful dent in what could become a VERY dire situation over time…

GERARD: Some are saying we are already too late. Others think we should still wait and see. Who’s right about this? Luckily for you, it’s ME.
Right now, it’s TOO EARLY. Everyone should stop the panic and just be reasonable.
Right NOOOWWW, it’s STILL too early. We’re cautiously observing events and evaluating all options.
The time to shut everything down IIIISSSSS…..
NOW.

CAPTION: Soon:
[[Another anchor, JARNATHAN, is sitting at the news desk, wearing an old-fashioned diving suit with spherical diving helmet. GERARD has half-slid under the desk.]]
JARNATHAN: At SOME point we’ll need to EMERGE from our backyard bunkers. But can anyone tell us when it will be considered safe to do so?
GERARD: Luckily, I’m available! I’ll be happy to lend my experRAWHHHOWOW

#1513; One Flu Over the Chewie’s Nest transcribed by in

[[A news desk scene. Pundit GERARD addresses the viewer.]]

GERARD: Experts agree that we need to take drastic isolation measures to have any hope of slowing down the spread of VIRULENT CHEWBACCUENZA -- so-called for the howling sound it makes your larynx make.

GERARD: But are we REALLY at that point YET? If we shut everything down too early, then we risk unnecessarily disrupting people's lives, even jeopardizing their jobs and ability to feed their families...
But if we wait until it's too late, we will have missed the chance to make a meaningful dent in what could become a VERY dire situation over time...

GERARD: Some are saying we are already too late. Others think we should still wait and see. Who's right about this? Luckily for you, it's ME.
Right now, it's TOO EARLY. Everyone should stop the panic and just be reasonable.
Right NOOOWWW, it's STILL too early. We're cautiously observing events and evaluating all options.
The time to shut everything down IIIISSSSS.....
NOW.

CAPTION: Soon:
[[Another anchor, JARNATHAN, is sitting at the news desk, wearing an old-fashioned diving suit with spherical diving helmet. GERARD has half-slid under the desk.]]
JARNATHAN: At SOME point we'll need to EMERGE from our backyard bunkers. But can anyone tell us when it will be considered safe to do so?
GERARD: Luckily, I'm available! I'll be happy to lend my experRAWHHHOWOW

Hard to seize the moment when you're trying to keep a safe distance from it