Comic Transcripts

Kids: Mister Mikey! Mister Mikey! How come you don’t have candy for us anymore?
Mr. Mikey: Because, children, I quit my job at the candy factory. Now I work selling poop insurance. I don’t suppose I can interest you in a policy?

Kids: Candy! Candy! We want candy!
Mr. Mikey: I don’t have candy! All I can offer you is the peace of mind that only comes from knowing that if (God forbid) you’re pooped on, you’ll be A-OK.

Kid 1: I bet you didn’t quit your candyman job.
Kid 2: I bet you were fired.

Kid 1: I bet you sold secret magic lollipop formuals to the Chinese.
Kid 2: I bet you swam in the caramel vat without safety pants or any pants.
Kid 1: I bet you took a monster dump on your boss’s desk.
Kid 2: I bet you hate God.
Mr. Mikey: Children! All of these theories are true in their own way. Now, who wants a policy? Last chance before the tea kicks in.

{{header: resign yourself at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: real life comics #4, sort of}}

#148; In which Candy is withheld transcribed by in

Kids: Mister Mikey! Mister Mikey! How come you don’t have candy for us anymore?
Mr. Mikey: Because, children, I quit my job at the candy factory. Now I work selling poop insurance. I don’t suppose I can interest you in a policy?

Kids: Candy! Candy! We want candy!
Mr. Mikey: I don’t have candy! All I can offer you is the peace of mind that only comes from knowing that if (God forbid) you’re pooped on, you’ll be A-OK.

Kid 1: I bet you didn’t quit your candyman job.
Kid 2: I bet you were fired.

Kid 1: I bet you sold secret magic lollipop formuals to the Chinese.
Kid 2: I bet you swam in the caramel vat without safety pants or any pants.
Kid 1: I bet you took a monster dump on your boss’s desk.
Kid 2: I bet you hate God.
Mr. Mikey: Children! All of these theories are true in their own way. Now, who wants a policy? Last chance before the tea kicks in.

{{header: resign yourself at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: real life comics #4, sort of}}

#148; In which Candy is withheld transcribed by in

Kids: Mister Mikey! Mister Mikey! How come you don't have candy for us anymore?
Mr. Mikey: Because, children, I quit my job at the candy factory. Now I work selling poop insurance. I don't suppose I can interest you in a policy?

Kids: Candy! Candy! We want candy!
Mr. Mikey: I don't have candy! All I can offer you is the peace of mind that only comes from knowing that if (God forbid) you're pooped on, you'll be A-OK.

Kid 1: I bet you didn't quit your candyman job.
Kid 2: I bet you were fired.

Kid 1: I bet you sold secret magic lollipop formuals to the Chinese.
Kid 2: I bet you swam in the caramel vat without safety pants or any pants.
Kid 1: I bet you took a monster dump on your boss's desk.
Kid 2: I bet you hate God.
Mr. Mikey: Children! All of these theories are true in their own way. Now, who wants a policy? Last chance before the tea kicks in.

{{header: resign yourself at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: real life comics #4, sort of}}

real life comics #4, sort of

New ways to get Bolted!

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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