Comic Transcripts

LAURENCE: Guess who’s here, kids! Santa Claus!
SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
KIDS: YAAAAYYYYY

EMMA: Oh, Laurence. You did it! You really found a Santa! Where?how??
LAURENCE: I know some people who know some people. I told you I’d handle it!
SANTA [[off-panel]]: Were you kids good this year? Did you eat sufficient numbers of plants?
KIDS [[also off-panel]]: We ate some plants

SANTA: Santa is very concerned with your cellulose intake! It’s how he tracks you! I’ve also brought some pickled marzipan! Its horridness will stimulate your bile ducts and make you smell less appetizing to the stingroaches I have also brought you. You should start taking their venom in small doses now, while you are still larval. Be cautious! They are not tame.

LAURENCE: STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
SANTA [[now revealed to be our friend GAX]]: I’m the one doing YOU the favor here!

{{header: he knows when you’ve been to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)}}

#687; In which Santa appears at last transcribed by in

LAURENCE: Guess who’s here, kids! Santa Claus!
SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
KIDS: YAAAAYYYYY

EMMA: Oh, Laurence. You did it! You really found a Santa! Where?how??
LAURENCE: I know some people who know some people. I told you I’d handle it!
SANTA [[off-panel]]: Were you kids good this year? Did you eat sufficient numbers of plants?
KIDS [[also off-panel]]: We ate some plants

SANTA: Santa is very concerned with your cellulose intake! It’s how he tracks you! I’ve also brought some pickled marzipan! Its horridness will stimulate your bile ducts and make you smell less appetizing to the stingroaches I have also brought you. You should start taking their venom in small doses now, while you are still larval. Be cautious! They are not tame.

LAURENCE: STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
SANTA [[now revealed to be our friend GAX]]: I’m the one doing YOU the favor here!

{{header: he knows when you’ve been to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)}}

#687; In which Santa appears at last transcribed by in

LAURENCE: Guess who's here, kids! Santa Claus!
SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
KIDS: YAAAAYYYYY

EMMA: Oh, Laurence. You did it! You really found a Santa! Where?how??
LAURENCE: I know some people who know some people. I told you I'd handle it!
SANTA [[off-panel]]: Were you kids good this year? Did you eat sufficient numbers of plants?
KIDS [[also off-panel]]: We ate some plants

SANTA: Santa is very concerned with your cellulose intake! It's how he tracks you! I've also brought some pickled marzipan! Its horridness will stimulate your bile ducts and make you smell less appetizing to the stingroaches I have also brought you. You should start taking their venom in small doses now, while you are still larval. Be cautious! They are not tame.

LAURENCE: STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
SANTA [[now revealed to be our friend GAX]]: I'm the one doing YOU the favor here!

{{header: he knows when you've been to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)}}

Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)

#687; In which Santa appears at last

  — December 24th, 2010

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/687/

In case you’re not familiar, Gax the horrible shapeshifting alien is one of our regular players.

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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