Comic Transcripts

[[A MAN stands before a tribunal.]]

[[A decision has been made.]]

[[Another man approaches.]]

[[The accused kneels and scissors are produced.]]

[[The accused glares defiantly as his beard is sheared away.]]

[[A small boy sees a silhouetted figure.]]

[[He tugs on the figure’s cloak.]]

[[It’s the accused man, now clean-shaven and wearing a sign around his neck. The sign bears one terrible word: BEARDLESS.]]

[[The terrified child bursts into tears.]]

{{Header: WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Mommy! Hold me in your beard, and comfort me.}}

Guest comic by John Keogh transcribed by in

[[A MAN stands before a tribunal.]]

[[A decision has been made.]]

[[Another man approaches.]]

[[The accused kneels and scissors are produced.]]

[[The accused glares defiantly as his beard is sheared away.]]

[[A small boy sees a silhouetted figure.]]

[[He tugs on the figure’s cloak.]]

[[It’s the accused man, now clean-shaven and wearing a sign around his neck. The sign bears one terrible word: BEARDLESS.]]

[[The terrified child bursts into tears.]]

{{Header: WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Mommy! Hold me in your beard, and comfort me.}}

Guest comic by John Keogh transcribed by in

[[A MAN stands before a tribunal.]]

[[A decision has been made.]]

[[Another man approaches.]]

[[The accused kneels and scissors are produced.]]

[[The accused glares defiantly as his beard is sheared away.]]

[[A small boy sees a silhouetted figure.]]

[[He tugs on the figure's cloak.]]

[[It's the accused man, now clean-shaven and wearing a sign around his neck. The sign bears one terrible word: BEARDLESS.]]

[[The terrified child bursts into tears.]]

{{Header: WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Mommy! Hold me in your beard, and comfort me.}}

Mommy! Hold me in your beard, and comfort me.

Today’s comic comes from medical dramatist and prolific guest-stripper John Keogh of Lucid TV. In this strip, John has imagined a terrifying world that some of the people who email me are eagerly looking forward to.

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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