Comic Transcripts

[[A MAN wearing a long coat and carrying a drum appears in a WOMAN’s bathroom. The woman is bathing in a small Victorian tub and has no coverage whatsoever.]]
MAN: Everyone stay calm! Butt inspector!
WOMAN: BUTT inspector?

MAN: Here to inspect all the butts in the vicinity. Just making sure everything’s up to code.
WOMAN: MM-HMM.
Who made YOU butt inspector?
MAN: Um, only the COMMISSIONER OF BUTTS, HEINIES AND DERRIERES?
It’s an appointed position.

WOMAN: Little LATE for a civil servant to be on the clock, isn’t it?

MAN: Ma’am, as a duly sworn BUTT INSPECTOR I cannot let ANY slight within my purview go UNRECTIFIED.

MAN: Get it?
RECT-ified?
WOMAN: I AM TRYING TO TAKE A BATH

{{Header: get behind WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: the ‘civil servant’ argument breaks down when you realize that the butt-firefighters are on the clock 24-7}}

#439; Arrival of the Butt Inspector transcribed by in

[[A MAN wearing a long coat and carrying a drum appears in a WOMAN’s bathroom. The woman is bathing in a small Victorian tub and has no coverage whatsoever.]]
MAN: Everyone stay calm! Butt inspector!
WOMAN: BUTT inspector?

MAN: Here to inspect all the butts in the vicinity. Just making sure everything’s up to code.
WOMAN: MM-HMM.
Who made YOU butt inspector?
MAN: Um, only the COMMISSIONER OF BUTTS, HEINIES AND DERRIERES?
It’s an appointed position.

WOMAN: Little LATE for a civil servant to be on the clock, isn’t it?

MAN: Ma’am, as a duly sworn BUTT INSPECTOR I cannot let ANY slight within my purview go UNRECTIFIED.

MAN: Get it?
RECT-ified?
WOMAN: I AM TRYING TO TAKE A BATH

{{Header: get behind WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: the ‘civil servant’ argument breaks down when you realize that the butt-firefighters are on the clock 24-7}}

#439; Arrival of the Butt Inspector transcribed by in

[[A MAN wearing a long coat and carrying a drum appears in a WOMAN's bathroom. The woman is bathing in a small Victorian tub and has no coverage whatsoever.]]
MAN: Everyone stay calm! Butt inspector!
WOMAN: BUTT inspector?

MAN: Here to inspect all the butts in the vicinity. Just making sure everything's up to code.
WOMAN: MM-HMM.
Who made YOU butt inspector?
MAN: Um, only the COMMISSIONER OF BUTTS, HEINIES AND DERRIERES?
It's an appointed position.

WOMAN: Little LATE for a civil servant to be on the clock, isn't it?

MAN: Ma'am, as a duly sworn BUTT INSPECTOR I cannot let ANY slight within my purview go UNRECTIFIED.

MAN: Get it?
RECT-ified?
WOMAN: I AM TRYING TO TAKE A BATH

{{Header: get behind WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: the 'civil servant' argument breaks down when you realize that the butt-firefighters are on the clock 24-7}}

the 'civil servant' argument breaks down when you realize that the butt-firefighters are on the clock 24-7

#439; Arrival of the Butt Inspector

  — September 2nd, 2008

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/439/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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