#1362; Ax Me Another, Part 2

Comic Transcripts

[[GIRLINE and PILLIPA sit in a chair garden, idly chatting.]]

GIRLINE: Grandma, I always wanted to ask you! Where did you get these chairs? They’re so… unique.
PILLIPA: Your grandpapa made them for me, many years ago! It was quite an ordeal.

PILLIPA: You see, in those days the forest was ruled by a WOOD KING who forbade the cutting down of any of his trees. Your grandfather, bless his dullard heart, chopped down forty-one trees to find just the right wood for these chairs.
GIRLINE: And the king allowed it?
PILLIPA: No! Your grandfather had to kidnap the king to try and hide his crime.

PILLIPA: Then when the DRYAD ARMY came after him, he tried to TRICK them with a series of elaborate LOGIC PUZZLES. Then he had ME act as a distraction while he chopped the king up into lumber and quickly made him into a picnic table that he claimed had been there the whole time!
GIRLINE: Sounds like he was a very clever man!
PILLIPA: From the broad strokes and in retrospect, I can see how it would seem that way.

[[Pillipa’s face intensifies.]]

PILLIPA: With the king’s body unrecognized, they had to come after him in civil court. When he was served with a LEAF SUMMONS, he claimed to be his own TWIN BROTHER. So they sued BOTH brothers and got a default judgment when only ONE appeared in court. But then, as luck would have it, the power vacuum left by the king’s absence enabled a TREE COUP that, after much sap-shed, led to the forest becoming the peaceful PARLIAMENTARY ARBOROCRACY it is today.

GIRLINE: So he GOT AWAY with it!
PILLIPA: Oh, NO, ha ha ha! No, rogue elements of the dryad military loyal to the deposed monarchy came after him in the night in a covert act of revenge. I woke up one day to find him COMPLETELY MUMMIFIED IN SAP! Gave me QUITE the startle, let me tell you!

[[We have a fleeting glimpse of Grandpapa]]

PILLIPA: He was too beautiful for this world. REALLY he was. All I have left to remember him now are these CHAIRS… And some of the sap with his hair in it that I keep in an urn.
GIRLINE: WHAT A TALE! I never knew there was so much to the history of these funny old chairs!

GIRLINE: Really makes you wish they were at ALL comfortable, doesn’t it?
PILLIPA: I KNOW! That’s the tragedy of the whole bloody thing!

#1362; Ax Me Another, Part 2 transcribed by in

[[GIRLINE and PILLIPA sit in a chair garden, idly chatting.]]

GIRLINE: Grandma, I always wanted to ask you! Where did you get these chairs? They're so... unique.
PILLIPA: Your grandpapa made them for me, many years ago! It was quite an ordeal.

[[Pillipa's face intensifies.]]

PILLIPA: With the king's body unrecognized, they had to come after him in civil court. When he was served with a LEAF SUMMONS, he claimed to be his own TWIN BROTHER. So they sued BOTH brothers and got a default judgment when only ONE appeared in court. But then, as luck would have it, the power vacuum left by the king's absence enabled a TREE COUP that, after much sap-shed, led to the forest becoming the peaceful PARLIAMENTARY ARBOROCRACY it is today.

[[We have a fleeting glimpse of Grandpapa]]

PILLIPA: He was too beautiful for this world. REALLY he was. All I have left to remember him now are these CHAIRS... And some of the sap with his hair in it that I keep in an urn.
GIRLINE: WHAT A TALE! I never knew there was so much to the history of these funny old chairs!

GIRLINE: Really makes you wish they were at ALL comfortable, doesn't it?
PILLIPA: I KNOW! That's the tragedy of the whole bloody thing!

But that was a different time! Chairs HAD to be hard so they’d keep your hernias pressed in!