Comic Transcripts

[[Two businesspeople are discussing a deal. One, Dan, seems concerned.]]
Dan: …I agree, the terms are bad. I’m just not sure how we can get OUT of the deal.
Jesse: Tell him YOU’RE all for it, but I’VE put my foot down. Not your fault, nothing you can do!
Jesse: He doesn’t know me. Make ME the bad guy, I don’t care!

[[Dan discusses the matter with the partner in question. Dan holds his head in his hands, weeping.]]
Partner: So, are we moving forward?
Dan: Oh my god… I’m so glad you came by! It’s my partner… Jesse…
Dan: He’s… I would call it ABUSIVE…
Dan: He won’t LET me do it… he BEAT me with his shoe! He said, “Dan, for EVERY MINUTE we’re still in this deal, I’m going to whip you seven times!”

[[Dan appears even more distressed as he elaborates.]]
Dan: He keeps me locked in my office for WHOLE WEEKENDS, shoving tortillas and other narrow-format foods through the mail slot on Sunday mornings…
Dan: I’d make a run for it, but he KNOWS I stole some copy paper for my ill-conceived bildungsroman and I’m CERTAIN he keeps a knife hidden in his hair at all times. I’m afraid of what he’ll DO to me if I don’t show up with the contract SHREDDED and EATEN!

[[Back to Jesse, where four police officers have appeared to accost him. Dan rubs his head, realizing his error.]]
Dan: I maaay have over-sold the concept

{{header: the undersigned WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I’ve heard of business casual, but this gravy-stained burlap he forces me to steal from illicit boxcars and weave into a shapeless garment is ridiculous}}

#1134; Southening the Deal transcribed by in

[[Two businesspeople are discussing a deal. One, Dan, seems concerned.]]
Dan: …I agree, the terms are bad. I’m just not sure how we can get OUT of the deal.
Jesse: Tell him YOU’RE all for it, but I’VE put my foot down. Not your fault, nothing you can do!
Jesse: He doesn’t know me. Make ME the bad guy, I don’t care!

[[Dan discusses the matter with the partner in question. Dan holds his head in his hands, weeping.]]
Partner: So, are we moving forward?
Dan: Oh my god… I’m so glad you came by! It’s my partner… Jesse…
Dan: He’s… I would call it ABUSIVE…
Dan: He won’t LET me do it… he BEAT me with his shoe! He said, “Dan, for EVERY MINUTE we’re still in this deal, I’m going to whip you seven times!”

[[Dan appears even more distressed as he elaborates.]]
Dan: He keeps me locked in my office for WHOLE WEEKENDS, shoving tortillas and other narrow-format foods through the mail slot on Sunday mornings…
Dan: I’d make a run for it, but he KNOWS I stole some copy paper for my ill-conceived bildungsroman and I’m CERTAIN he keeps a knife hidden in his hair at all times. I’m afraid of what he’ll DO to me if I don’t show up with the contract SHREDDED and EATEN!

[[Back to Jesse, where four police officers have appeared to accost him. Dan rubs his head, realizing his error.]]
Dan: I maaay have over-sold the concept

{{header: the undersigned WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I’ve heard of business casual, but this gravy-stained burlap he forces me to steal from illicit boxcars and weave into a shapeless garment is ridiculous}}

#1134; Southening the Deal transcribed by in

[[Two businesspeople are discussing a deal. One, Dan, seems concerned.]]
Dan: ...I agree, the terms are bad. I'm just not sure how we can get OUT of the deal.
Jesse: Tell him YOU'RE all for it, but I'VE put my foot down. Not your fault, nothing you can do!
Jesse: He doesn't know me. Make ME the bad guy, I don't care!

[[Dan discusses the matter with the partner in question. Dan holds his head in his hands, weeping.]]
Partner: So, are we moving forward?
Dan: Oh my god... I'm so glad you came by! It's my partner... Jesse...
Dan: He's... I would call it ABUSIVE...
Dan: He won't LET me do it... he BEAT me with his shoe! He said, "Dan, for EVERY MINUTE we're still in this deal, I'm going to whip you seven times!"

[[Dan appears even more distressed as he elaborates.]]
Dan: He keeps me locked in my office for WHOLE WEEKENDS, shoving tortillas and other narrow-format foods through the mail slot on Sunday mornings...
Dan: I'd make a run for it, but he KNOWS I stole some copy paper for my ill-conceived bildungsroman and I'm CERTAIN he keeps a knife hidden in his hair at all times. I'm afraid of what he'll DO to me if I don't show up with the contract SHREDDED and EATEN!

[[Back to Jesse, where four police officers have appeared to accost him. Dan rubs his head, realizing his error.]]
Dan: I maaay have over-sold the concept

{{header: the undersigned WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: I've heard of business casual, but this gravy-stained burlap he forces me to steal from illicit boxcars and weave into a shapeless garment is ridiculous}}

I've heard of business casual, but this gravy-stained burlap he forces me to steal from illicit boxcars and weave into a shapeless garment is ridiculous

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


Recent blog posts