Comic Transcripts

[[CHARLES BABBAGE stands among his devices.]]

BABBAGE: My latest calculations on the DIFFERENCE ENGINE have proven my theories!  I think this old hunk of bolts could really work!

[[One of his associates, let’s say JOSEPH CLEMENT, joins Babbage.]]

CLEMENT: Oh, Babbage!  If so, you could revolutionize the world!  COMPUTING MACHINES could completely change the way we live!

CLEMENT: Why, if they were commonplace, they might enable commerce!  Communication!  Information storage to a degree we can scarcely imagine!

BABBAGE: All your FRIVOLOUS pursuits be DASHED! I did NOT invent this so a body might GOSSIP WITH STRANGERS, or BOOK STEAMSHIP TRAVEL REMOTELY!

BABBAGE:  This is a device, solely and exclusively, to AUTOMATE THE GAME OF SOLITAIRE.

CLEMENT:  But Babbage–!  What if one wanted to simulate the sweeping of a field for mines?

BABBAGE: Well of COURSE one might also use it for THAT.

{{header: the purpose of WONDERMARK.COM}}

#953; The Engine of Diversion transcribed by in

[[CHARLES BABBAGE stands among his devices.]]

BABBAGE: My latest calculations on the DIFFERENCE ENGINE have proven my theories!  I think this old hunk of bolts could really work!

[[One of his associates, let's say JOSEPH CLEMENT, joins Babbage.]]

CLEMENT: Oh, Babbage!  If so, you could revolutionize the world!  COMPUTING MACHINES could completely change the way we live!

CLEMENT: Why, if they were commonplace, they might enable commerce!  Communication!  Information storage to a degree we can scarcely imagine!

BABBAGE: All your FRIVOLOUS pursuits be DASHED! I did NOT invent this so a body might GOSSIP WITH STRANGERS, or BOOK STEAMSHIP TRAVEL REMOTELY!

BABBAGE:  This is a device, solely and exclusively, to AUTOMATE THE GAME OF SOLITAIRE.

CLEMENT:  But Babbage--!  What if one wanted to simulate the sweeping of a field for mines?

BABBAGE: Well of COURSE one might also use it for THAT.

{{header: the purpose of WONDERMARK.COM}}

''Use it to get WORK done?? Ha, ha, my boy, no. You misunderstand severely. This is a device for reading nonsense top-10 lists designed only to sell your attention to advertisers. It's a device to PREVENT you from working.''

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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