#878; The Saddest Most Terrible Book

Comic Transcripts

[[Two women are in a room. One is seated with a book, but has lifted her eyes from the page to begin her monologue. The other listens from behind her, concerned]]

Reader: There must be some books that never get read, not even once. They’re printed and bound and shipped to stores…Then remaindered and destroyed, or maybe bought and then sat on a shelf forever and ever.

Reader: Nobody learned anything from them. Nobody was taken on a journey of imagination by the carefully-chosen sequences of words they contained. Every day on the shelf, another hope dashed. Bought! Then re-sold to a used bookstore: more hope, fading but still flickering..until the fateful day of the trash compactor.

Listener: Maybe it’s good that some of those books are never read. What about a hate book? A racist book. Page after page of the most vile, ignorant tripe ever set to print. Some odious, illiterate screed set in 12-point Times New Roman because that was the default in Word.

Listener: And it’s not like it’s the book’s fault. The book was just paper, all bright-eyed and eager, showing up at the plant excited for its big day, its destiny…
Reader: Great now I feel bad for a racist book

{{header: hope for that WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: ‘Cooking for Racists: 88 Bleached-Flour Recipes To Bolster the Caucasiarchy’}}

#878; The Saddest Most Terrible Book transcribed by in

[[Two women are in a room. One is seated with a book, but has lifted her eyes from the page to begin her monologue. The other listens from behind her, concerned]]

{{header: hope for that WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: ‘Cooking for Racists: 88 Bleached-Flour Recipes To Bolster the Caucasiarchy’}}

#878; The Saddest Most Terrible Book transcribed by in

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!