Comic Transcripts

RUDY: LISTEN! I got a bone to pick with you and your Haircut Value Index!
KEN: Yes, well, clearly something has gone shockingly awry

RUDY: Your math is all backwards! I went and got me a hundred-dollar haircut that looked great for twelve hours! H.V.I. of 200! NOW look at me!

KEN [narrating the math again]: Uh, well, you see, H.V.I. is merely a comparison metric to help you see how haircuts of different prices match up! It, uh, can’t help you find the very best value haircut in the world or anything like that! That’d be a free haircut that looks good forever. That limit goes to infinity. Zombies take over the planet and your corpse still looks great, that sort of thing. Forget it. It’s unachievable!

ARVID: THE TRACTOR OIL TURNED SENTIENT AND MY HAIR IS LOOKING MORE AMAZING BY THE MINUTE
RUDY: BOY IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE JUST WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING TODAY

{{header: hold on, WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: YOU CAN’T JUST REDEFINE MATH TO SUPPORT YOUR ARGUMENT}}

#709; Cracks in the Metric transcribed by in

RUDY: LISTEN! I got a bone to pick with you and your Haircut Value Index!
KEN: Yes, well, clearly something has gone shockingly awry

RUDY: Your math is all backwards! I went and got me a hundred-dollar haircut that looked great for twelve hours! H.V.I. of 200! NOW look at me!

KEN [narrating the math again]: Uh, well, you see, H.V.I. is merely a comparison metric to help you see how haircuts of different prices match up! It, uh, can't help you find the very best value haircut in the world or anything like that! That'd be a free haircut that looks good forever. That limit goes to infinity. Zombies take over the planet and your corpse still looks great, that sort of thing. Forget it. It's unachievable!

ARVID: THE TRACTOR OIL TURNED SENTIENT AND MY HAIR IS LOOKING MORE AMAZING BY THE MINUTE
RUDY: BOY IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE JUST WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING TODAY

{{header: hold on, WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: YOU CAN'T JUST REDEFINE MATH TO SUPPORT YOUR ARGUMENT}}

YOU CAN'T JUST REDEFINE MATH TO SUPPORT YOUR ARGUMENT

#709; Cracks in the Metric

  — March 9th, 2011

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/709/

(Continued from Part 1)

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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