Comic Transcripts

[[A banner at the top reads: Something for all – except those without the means]]

[[A banner lower down reads: “SHOULD YOU COAL-POWER YOUR LIFE?”
Many municipal power plants already use coal to generate electricity. Some enterprising folks have had the clever idea to eliminate the middleman and consume coal directly, using it to power home appliances, vehicles, pets, plants – anything in need of energy. Can this be done feasibly and safely? We have investigated, and the answer appears to be NO. Absolutely not. The notion is ridiculous.
Coal in the home. The family in question had attached turbine-boilers to every device in the home: toasters, refrigerators, can-openers &c. What reports fail to mention is that the lady of the house works in a factory where the small boilers are manufactured. She acquires them at a steep discount. This is clearly out of range for the average family.
Coal-powered vehicles. It also turns out that the man of the house is an auto mechanic specializing in absurd “pimptastic” modifications! This is hardly repeatable.
Coal-powered pets. What are you talking (Text block cuts off here)]]

[[A block at the bottom reads: “”–BOTTOM LINE–“, with some aspects of coal-powering your life outlined underneath:
THE CONVERSION. Is impossible. Don’t even try it.
ENERGY SAVINGS. How would you even calculate that.
CARBON FOOTPRINT. Are you listening. Coal is made of carbon.
FISCAL IMPACT. It would cost literally millions of dollars.
RESALE VALUE. Of what? The house? The cars? Pets? NO
POTENTIAL PITFALLS. Handling coal will give you finger cancer]]

{{Alt-text: Next Issue: Ten Ways to get Soot out of Pet Fur– Because You Had to Go Ahead and Try It}}

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 2 (of 8) transcribed by in

[[A banner at the top reads: Something for all – except those without the means]]

[[A banner lower down reads: “SHOULD YOU COAL-POWER YOUR LIFE?”
Many municipal power plants already use coal to generate electricity. Some enterprising folks have had the clever idea to eliminate the middleman and consume coal directly, using it to power home appliances, vehicles, pets, plants – anything in need of energy. Can this be done feasibly and safely? We have investigated, and the answer appears to be NO. Absolutely not. The notion is ridiculous.
Coal in the home. The family in question had attached turbine-boilers to every device in the home: toasters, refrigerators, can-openers &c. What reports fail to mention is that the lady of the house works in a factory where the small boilers are manufactured. She acquires them at a steep discount. This is clearly out of range for the average family.
Coal-powered vehicles. It also turns out that the man of the house is an auto mechanic specializing in absurd “pimptastic” modifications! This is hardly repeatable.
Coal-powered pets. What are you talking (Text block cuts off here)]]

[[A block at the bottom reads: “”–BOTTOM LINE–“, with some aspects of coal-powering your life outlined underneath:
THE CONVERSION. Is impossible. Don’t even try it.
ENERGY SAVINGS. How would you even calculate that.
CARBON FOOTPRINT. Are you listening. Coal is made of carbon.
FISCAL IMPACT. It would cost literally millions of dollars.
RESALE VALUE. Of what? The house? The cars? Pets? NO
POTENTIAL PITFALLS. Handling coal will give you finger cancer]]

{{Alt-text: Next Issue: Ten Ways to get Soot out of Pet Fur– Because You Had to Go Ahead and Try It}}

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 2 (of 8) transcribed by in

[[A banner at the top reads: Something for all - except those without the means]]

[[A banner lower down reads: "SHOULD YOU COAL-POWER YOUR LIFE?"
Many municipal power plants already use coal to generate electricity. Some enterprising folks have had the clever idea to eliminate the middleman and consume coal directly, using it to power home appliances, vehicles, pets, plants - anything in need of energy. Can this be done feasibly and safely? We have investigated, and the answer appears to be NO. Absolutely not. The notion is ridiculous.
Coal in the home. The family in question had attached turbine-boilers to every device in the home: toasters, refrigerators, can-openers &c. What reports fail to mention is that the lady of the house works in a factory where the small boilers are manufactured. She acquires them at a steep discount. This is clearly out of range for the average family.
Coal-powered vehicles. It also turns out that the man of the house is an auto mechanic specializing in absurd "pimptastic" modifications! This is hardly repeatable.
Coal-powered pets. What are you talking (Text block cuts off here)]]

[[A block at the bottom reads: ""--BOTTOM LINE--", with some aspects of coal-powering your life outlined underneath:
THE CONVERSION. Is impossible. Don't even try it.
ENERGY SAVINGS. How would you even calculate that.
CARBON FOOTPRINT. Are you listening. Coal is made of carbon.
FISCAL IMPACT. It would cost literally millions of dollars.
RESALE VALUE. Of what? The house? The cars? Pets? NO
POTENTIAL PITFALLS. Handling coal will give you finger cancer]]

{{Alt-text: Next Issue: Ten Ways to get Soot out of Pet Fur-- Because You Had to Go Ahead and Try It}}

Next Issue: Ten Ways to get Soot out of Pet Fur -- Because You Had to Go Ahead and Try It

The Tinkerer’s Handbook, Page 2 (of 8)

  — April 27th, 2011

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/tink2/

(Start from Page 1.)

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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