Comic Transcripts

[[RALPH is piloting his spiffy steam-powered car.]]
RALPH: Gaahh! I hate parking!

SIGN: NO PARKING
Residential permit excepted
Commercial permit excepted
Diplomatic permit excepted
Disabled placard excepted
Vigilante hero placard excepted

SIGN: NO PARKING
During street cleaning
Monday 5AM-11PM
Tuesday 5AM-11PM
Wednesday 5AM-11PM
Thursday 5AM-11PM
Friday 5AM-11PM
Saturday 5AM-11PM
Sunday 5AM-11PM
The street is really dirty okay

SIGN: NO PARKING
Everyone except guys with moustaches excepted
(RALPH has a moustache)

RALPH: GAAHHH!!
How would they even KNOW?

[[A large touring car is parked so that it takes up two spaces at the curb.]]

[[RALPH is irritated to see this.]]

[[Fortunately, he has a nice bakelite cell phone in his steam-powered car.]]
RALPH: Hey, Mike? Remember the time I saved you from that snakebite?
…I need a favor.

[[RALPH glares at the parked car.]]

[[A shadow falls over him. He looks up.]]

[[A truly spectacular steam helicopter has descended. MIKE is the pilot.]]

[[MIKE lowers a claw from the helicopter as he hovers above the parked car.]]

[[The claw grabs the car and lifts it…]]

[[And sets it down so it’s touching the car behind it, leaving a space large enough for another car in front of it.]]

[[His job done, MIKE flies off into the sunset.]]

[[RALPH watches him fly off and a single tear trickles down his cheek.]]

{{Header: fit just right at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: This is sufficient to qualify for the Vigilante Hero placard.}}

#550; In which Salvation is summoned transcribed by in

[[RALPH is piloting his spiffy steam-powered car.]]
RALPH: Gaahh! I hate parking!

SIGN: NO PARKING
Residential permit excepted
Commercial permit excepted
Diplomatic permit excepted
Disabled placard excepted
Vigilante hero placard excepted

SIGN: NO PARKING
During street cleaning
Monday 5AM-11PM
Tuesday 5AM-11PM
Wednesday 5AM-11PM
Thursday 5AM-11PM
Friday 5AM-11PM
Saturday 5AM-11PM
Sunday 5AM-11PM
The street is really dirty okay

SIGN: NO PARKING
Everyone except guys with moustaches excepted
(RALPH has a moustache)

RALPH: GAAHHH!!
How would they even KNOW?

[[A large touring car is parked so that it takes up two spaces at the curb.]]

[[RALPH is irritated to see this.]]

[[Fortunately, he has a nice bakelite cell phone in his steam-powered car.]]
RALPH: Hey, Mike? Remember the time I saved you from that snakebite?
…I need a favor.

[[RALPH glares at the parked car.]]

[[A shadow falls over him. He looks up.]]

[[A truly spectacular steam helicopter has descended. MIKE is the pilot.]]

[[MIKE lowers a claw from the helicopter as he hovers above the parked car.]]

[[The claw grabs the car and lifts it…]]

[[And sets it down so it’s touching the car behind it, leaving a space large enough for another car in front of it.]]

[[His job done, MIKE flies off into the sunset.]]

[[RALPH watches him fly off and a single tear trickles down his cheek.]]

{{Header: fit just right at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: This is sufficient to qualify for the Vigilante Hero placard.}}

#550; In which Salvation is summoned transcribed by in

[[RALPH is piloting his spiffy steam-powered car.]]
RALPH: Gaahh! I hate parking!

SIGN: NO PARKING
Residential permit excepted
Commercial permit excepted
Diplomatic permit excepted
Disabled placard excepted
Vigilante hero placard excepted

SIGN: NO PARKING
During street cleaning
Monday 5AM-11PM
Tuesday 5AM-11PM
Wednesday 5AM-11PM
Thursday 5AM-11PM
Friday 5AM-11PM
Saturday 5AM-11PM
Sunday 5AM-11PM
The street is really dirty okay

SIGN: NO PARKING
Everyone except guys with moustaches excepted
(RALPH has a moustache)

RALPH: GAAHHH!!
How would they even KNOW?

[[A large touring car is parked so that it takes up two spaces at the curb.]]

[[RALPH is irritated to see this.]]

[[Fortunately, he has a nice bakelite cell phone in his steam-powered car.]]
RALPH: Hey, Mike? Remember the time I saved you from that snakebite?
...I need a favor.

[[RALPH glares at the parked car.]]

[[A shadow falls over him. He looks up.]]

[[A truly spectacular steam helicopter has descended. MIKE is the pilot.]]

[[MIKE lowers a claw from the helicopter as he hovers above the parked car.]]

[[The claw grabs the car and lifts it...]]

[[And sets it down so it's touching the car behind it, leaving a space large enough for another car in front of it.]]

[[His job done, MIKE flies off into the sunset.]]

[[RALPH watches him fly off and a single tear trickles down his cheek.]]

{{Header: fit just right at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: This is sufficient to qualify for the Vigilante Hero placard.}}

This is sufficient to qualify for the Vigilante Hero placard.

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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