TARA: Marcus, c'mon. It's time to go to school. Go find your pants.
MARCUS: No! I've got more important plans today! Someone said something mean about me on the Internet!
TARA: Nobody cares, baby. Now come on, let's look for your pants together.
MARCUS: MO-OM! He called me NAMES on a MESSAGEBOARD! He compared me to HITLER! I've spent all morning composing my scathing reply
TARA: Sweetie, I know you're still young, but I'll let you in on a secret. This is a tidbit they whisper in your ear when you finally become a grown-up. The only reason anybody says anything on the Internet is to draw attention to themselves.
TARA: There are no other reasons, and there are no exceptions.
MARCUS: WHAT! I can think of plenty of exceptions to that!
TARA: Of course you can, honey. You're nine.
{{header: give it up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Marcus will use any excuse to get out of wearing pants.}}