Comic Transcripts

Title: THE STARS OF WONDERMARK SPEAK OUT ON THE SUBJECT OF THEIR CREATOR

[[A professor sits, reading from a slim volume held in his hand.]]
Professor: I first made the acquaintance of young Master Malki ! when he came under my tutelage at Oxford — Introduction to Mad Biochemistry, as I recall. Frightfully lacking in his dedication to matters of academia. “Malki !, my lad,” I told him on more than one occasion, “if you persist in your obsession with comical engravings when you should be hard at work developing better and more virulent strains of neurotoxin, then I fail to see how you ever hope to inspire fear in the governments of the world.” But some boys just refuse to listen.

[[A woman dressed entirely in black, holding a knife.]]
Woman: WHERE IS HE — LET ME AT THE BASTARD — Next time you try to pay off a jilted lover, David !, you’d best be sure the check don’t bounce. Fool gon’ wish he’d been born without eyeballs, once I gets to stabbin’.

[[A man wearing a sandwich board, which reads: “NO COMMENT”]]

[[A man wearing a porkpie hat, sitting on a bench reading his newspaper. He removes his spectacles.]]
Man: David Malki ! is not an easy man to know. He’s like … like a row which has been filled completely save for a 3 and a 7, but there is not enough information in the surrounding grid to determine which digit should go in which box, a delicate state in which a single misstep could lead to further erroneous assumptions, compounding upon itself until the entire puzzle is rendered unsalvageable. Sometimes I suspect he doesn’t even *like* Sudoku.

{{header: this is your life at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: read it while sipping tea}}

#208; Guest Comic by Thomas R. Brendel transcribed by in

Title: THE STARS OF WONDERMARK SPEAK OUT ON THE SUBJECT OF THEIR CREATOR

[[A professor sits, reading from a slim volume held in his hand.]]
Professor: I first made the acquaintance of young Master Malki ! when he came under my tutelage at Oxford — Introduction to Mad Biochemistry, as I recall. Frightfully lacking in his dedication to matters of academia. “Malki !, my lad,” I told him on more than one occasion, “if you persist in your obsession with comical engravings when you should be hard at work developing better and more virulent strains of neurotoxin, then I fail to see how you ever hope to inspire fear in the governments of the world.” But some boys just refuse to listen.

[[A woman dressed entirely in black, holding a knife.]]
Woman: WHERE IS HE — LET ME AT THE BASTARD — Next time you try to pay off a jilted lover, David !, you’d best be sure the check don’t bounce. Fool gon’ wish he’d been born without eyeballs, once I gets to stabbin’.

[[A man wearing a sandwich board, which reads: “NO COMMENT”]]

[[A man wearing a porkpie hat, sitting on a bench reading his newspaper. He removes his spectacles.]]
Man: David Malki ! is not an easy man to know. He’s like … like a row which has been filled completely save for a 3 and a 7, but there is not enough information in the surrounding grid to determine which digit should go in which box, a delicate state in which a single misstep could lead to further erroneous assumptions, compounding upon itself until the entire puzzle is rendered unsalvageable. Sometimes I suspect he doesn’t even *like* Sudoku.

{{header: this is your life at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: read it while sipping tea}}

#208; Guest Comic by Thomas R. Brendel transcribed by in

Title: THE STARS OF WONDERMARK SPEAK OUT ON THE SUBJECT OF THEIR CREATOR

[[A professor sits, reading from a slim volume held in his hand.]]
Professor: I first made the acquaintance of young Master Malki ! when he came under my tutelage at Oxford -- Introduction to Mad Biochemistry, as I recall. Frightfully lacking in his dedication to matters of academia. "Malki !, my lad," I told him on more than one occasion, "if you persist in your obsession with comical engravings when you should be hard at work developing better and more virulent strains of neurotoxin, then I fail to see how you ever hope to inspire fear in the governments of the world." But some boys just refuse to listen.

[[A woman dressed entirely in black, holding a knife.]]
Woman: WHERE IS HE -- LET ME AT THE BASTARD -- Next time you try to pay off a jilted lover, David !, you'd best be sure the check don't bounce. Fool gon' wish he'd been born without eyeballs, once I gets to stabbin'.

[[A man wearing a sandwich board, which reads: "NO COMMENT"]]

[[A man wearing a porkpie hat, sitting on a bench reading his newspaper. He removes his spectacles.]]
Man: David Malki ! is not an easy man to know. He's like ... like a row which has been filled completely save for a 3 and a 7, but there is not enough information in the surrounding grid to determine which digit should go in which box, a delicate state in which a single misstep could lead to further erroneous assumptions, compounding upon itself until the entire puzzle is rendered unsalvageable. Sometimes I suspect he doesn't even *like* Sudoku.

{{header: this is your life at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: read it while sipping tea}}

#208; Guest Comic by Thomas R. Brendel

  — July 12th, 2006

[ Tags: ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/208/

Guest comic by Thomas R. Brendel.

Buy a Print

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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