Comic Transcripts

[[A man in a top hat appears dismayed.]]
Technology Critic: Technology has made everything so COLD! We’ve become disconnected!
Technology Critic: Click, click, beep, beep, whatever you want, instant gratification!

[[Another man in a suit responds.]]
Inventor: Yes! EXACTLY! Nothing has a SOUL anymore! Nothing requires skill or art to operate!
Inventor: I’ve been developing a new phone just for good old-fashioned folks like us.

Inventor: It’s digital, but for the fully vintage effect, its GPS sensors only let it work when it’s near a telephone pole. And it automatically drops calls in bad weather.
Inventor: You can jiggle the accelerometer to introduce static… in fact, you have to hold it just right in order to complete an entire call.

[[The inventor points to the phone, highlighting various features.]]
Inventor: To turn it on, you have to turn a little knob and wait a few minutes for it to warm up. Once you hear the throaty rumble, you know it’s operational.
Inventor: If it senses that it’s below freezing outside, it makes you pour salt into a little hole.

Inventor: Every few months you have to open it up and swap out some tiny little bulbs.
Inventor: You can only get them from one store all the way across town.

Technology Critic: Does it send text messages?
Inventor: Yeah, but you have to spell them out by shouting each letter individually.
Inventor: Then, an hour later, the recipient gets a fax

{{header: the experience of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The phone’s oil should be changed every 3000 minutes}}

#1050; In which a Phone is made Familiar transcribed by in

[[A man in a top hat appears dismayed.]]
Technology Critic: Technology has made everything so COLD! We’ve become disconnected!
Technology Critic: Click, click, beep, beep, whatever you want, instant gratification!

[[Another man in a suit responds.]]
Inventor: Yes! EXACTLY! Nothing has a SOUL anymore! Nothing requires skill or art to operate!
Inventor: I’ve been developing a new phone just for good old-fashioned folks like us.

Inventor: It’s digital, but for the fully vintage effect, its GPS sensors only let it work when it’s near a telephone pole. And it automatically drops calls in bad weather.
Inventor: You can jiggle the accelerometer to introduce static… in fact, you have to hold it just right in order to complete an entire call.

[[The inventor points to the phone, highlighting various features.]]
Inventor: To turn it on, you have to turn a little knob and wait a few minutes for it to warm up. Once you hear the throaty rumble, you know it’s operational.
Inventor: If it senses that it’s below freezing outside, it makes you pour salt into a little hole.

Inventor: Every few months you have to open it up and swap out some tiny little bulbs.
Inventor: You can only get them from one store all the way across town.

Technology Critic: Does it send text messages?
Inventor: Yeah, but you have to spell them out by shouting each letter individually.
Inventor: Then, an hour later, the recipient gets a fax

{{header: the experience of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The phone’s oil should be changed every 3000 minutes}}

#1050; In which a Phone is made Familiar transcribed by in

[[A man in a top hat appears dismayed.]]
Technology Critic: Technology has made everything so COLD! We've become disconnected!
Technology Critic: Click, click, beep, beep, whatever you want, instant gratification!

[[Another man in a suit responds.]]
Inventor: Yes! EXACTLY! Nothing has a SOUL anymore! Nothing requires skill or art to operate!
Inventor: I've been developing a new phone just for good old-fashioned folks like us.

Inventor: It's digital, but for the fully vintage effect, its GPS sensors only let it work when it's near a telephone pole. And it automatically drops calls in bad weather.
Inventor: You can jiggle the accelerometer to introduce static... in fact, you have to hold it just right in order to complete an entire call.

[[The inventor points to the phone, highlighting various features.]]
Inventor: To turn it on, you have to turn a little knob and wait a few minutes for it to warm up. Once you hear the throaty rumble, you know it's operational.
Inventor: If it senses that it's below freezing outside, it makes you pour salt into a little hole.

Inventor: Every few months you have to open it up and swap out some tiny little bulbs.
Inventor: You can only get them from one store all the way across town.

Technology Critic: Does it send text messages?
Inventor: Yeah, but you have to spell them out by shouting each letter individually.
Inventor: Then, an hour later, the recipient gets a fax

{{header: the experience of WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The phone's oil should be changed every 3000 minutes}}

The phone's oil should be changed every 3000 minutes

#1050; In which a Phone is made Familiar

  — July 31st, 2014

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1050/

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

[image or embed]

— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

[image or embed]

— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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