Comic Transcripts

RUDY: Nice haircut!
KEN: Thanks, you too! I love my barber. He just knows my hair. It’s amazing what he can do.

RUDY: Do you go to some expensive place? I can never justify spending more than about eight dollars on a haircut. Haircuts make me anxious.
KEN: Maybe it’s because you’re not getting sufficient haircut value! Here’s how I figure the math on the subject…

KEN [narrating an illustrated mathematical formula]: If you spend eight bucks and the haircut looks good for two weeks, that cut has a Haircut Value Index of point five seven.

KEN [still narrating]: But if I spend forty dollars on a primo haircut that’ll look good for two months, that has an H.V.I. of point six five. When you amortize the cost over how long you’ll look sharp, it’s not so expensive after all!

ARVID: I cut my own hair with an old steak knife that I dip in tractor oil ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU CAN PLACE A VALUE ON THAT
KEN: I – I do admit that the model cannot accommodate a divide-by-zero error

{{header: look great at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: most things you do with tractor oil don’t really fit into traditional ways of thinking about haircuts}}

#708; Everything needs a Metric transcribed by in

RUDY: Nice haircut!
KEN: Thanks, you too! I love my barber. He just knows my hair. It's amazing what he can do.

RUDY: Do you go to some expensive place? I can never justify spending more than about eight dollars on a haircut. Haircuts make me anxious.
KEN: Maybe it's because you're not getting sufficient haircut value! Here's how I figure the math on the subject...

KEN [narrating an illustrated mathematical formula]: If you spend eight bucks and the haircut looks good for two weeks, that cut has a Haircut Value Index of point five seven.

KEN [still narrating]: But if I spend forty dollars on a primo haircut that'll look good for two months, that has an H.V.I. of point six five. When you amortize the cost over how long you'll look sharp, it's not so expensive after all!

ARVID: I cut my own hair with an old steak knife that I dip in tractor oil ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU CAN PLACE A VALUE ON THAT
KEN: I - I do admit that the model cannot accommodate a divide-by-zero error

{{header: look great at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: most things you do with tractor oil don't really fit into traditional ways of thinking about haircuts}}

most things you do with tractor oil don't really fit into traditional ways of thinking about haircuts

#708; Everything needs a Metric

  — March 8th, 2011

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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