Comic Transcripts

#545; In which it Keeps Going
[[A king and woman, among several other bystanders, are gathered around a set of stairs, upon which an older man is cowering in fear behind a set of curtains, which the woman has pulled back.]]
King: ARCH-FIEND JONAS!
King: THE BYLAWS OF OUR EXPERIMENTAL AGRARIAN CITY-STATE EXPRESSLY PROHIBIT MISCHIEVOUS TAMPERING WITH THE NATURAL ORDER OF LIVING THINGS!
Old Man: BAH! YOU CRETINS! THERE IS NO NATURAL ORDER! ALL IS BATHED IN CHAOS FROM THE FIRST DAY OF CREATION TILL THE LAST!
Woman: SILENCE! THIS TRIBUNAL WILL NOT HEAR IMPUDENCE!
Old Man: YOU’LL NOT HEAR MUCH OF ANYTHING ONCE MY CYNTHIA FINISHES INITIATING HER BINARY DEFENSE PROTOCOLS!

King: SO THE CRIMINAL EVEN ADMITS HIS HEINOUS OFFENSE!
King: WHA-
King: WHAT IN THE NAME OF GORAX
[[An odd-looking pair of pincers peeks out from behind the curtains.]]
Old Man: CYNTHIA!
Old Man: THIS IS THEM! THE BAD PEOPLE I PROGRAMMED YOU TO KILL!

[[Cynthia makes her way in front of the old man to defend him.]]
Old Man: CYNTHIA
Cynthia: (Said mechanically:) FWEEP?
Old Man: CYNTHIA, MY SWEET CHILD-CREATURE
Old Man: EXECUTE COMMAND SEQUENCE J-W-6

[[The panel zooms out to reveal several people sitting in a theater, of which two women are the focus, watching the previous scenes from a movie or play. Cynthia is seen burning people in the background.]]
<>
Bystander: (Said as if dying:) MY SKIIINNN
Woman 1: NEXT TIME, I PICK THE SHOW.
Woman 2: WELL, THE BOOK WAS GOOD.

{{header: come see WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: In the book you get all of Cynthia’s internal monologue.}}

#545; In which it Keeps Going transcribed by in

#545; In which it Keeps Going
[[A king and woman, among several other bystanders, are gathered around a set of stairs, upon which an older man is cowering in fear behind a set of curtains, which the woman has pulled back.]]
King: ARCH-FIEND JONAS!
King: THE BYLAWS OF OUR EXPERIMENTAL AGRARIAN CITY-STATE EXPRESSLY PROHIBIT MISCHIEVOUS TAMPERING WITH THE NATURAL ORDER OF LIVING THINGS!
Old Man: BAH! YOU CRETINS! THERE IS NO NATURAL ORDER! ALL IS BATHED IN CHAOS FROM THE FIRST DAY OF CREATION TILL THE LAST!
Woman: SILENCE! THIS TRIBUNAL WILL NOT HEAR IMPUDENCE!
Old Man: YOU'LL NOT HEAR MUCH OF ANYTHING ONCE MY CYNTHIA FINISHES INITIATING HER BINARY DEFENSE PROTOCOLS!

King: SO THE CRIMINAL EVEN ADMITS HIS HEINOUS OFFENSE!
King: WHA-
King: WHAT IN THE NAME OF GORAX
[[An odd-looking pair of pincers peeks out from behind the curtains.]]
Old Man: CYNTHIA!
Old Man: THIS IS THEM! THE BAD PEOPLE I PROGRAMMED YOU TO KILL!

[[Cynthia makes her way in front of the old man to defend him.]]
Old Man: CYNTHIA
Cynthia: (Said mechanically:) FWEEP?
Old Man: CYNTHIA, MY SWEET CHILD-CREATURE
Old Man: EXECUTE COMMAND SEQUENCE J-W-6

[[The panel zooms out to reveal several people sitting in a theater, of which two women are the focus, watching the previous scenes from a movie or play. Cynthia is seen burning people in the background.]]
<>
Bystander: (Said as if dying:) MY SKIIINNN
Woman 1: NEXT TIME, I PICK THE SHOW.
Woman 2: WELL, THE BOOK WAS GOOD.

{{header: come see WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: In the book you get all of Cynthia's internal monologue.}}

In the book you get all of Cynthia's internal monologue.

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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