Comic Transcripts

[[DEREKSKI delivers his thesis.]]

DEREKSKI: There is ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE that ghosts exist! Or, put another way, humans CANNOT DETECT the actions of ghosts! Not at all! Not by ANY known means!

DEREKSKI: Which means once you DO become a ghost, you can do whatever you want! Sneak into movies! Peep at strangers! See what really happens behind closed doors! Visit anyplace you want! Walk onstage at the Grammys! Shout at the president while he’s taking a leak!

DEREKSKI: Watch your children grow up! Watch the world you know grow strange and foreign. Watch humanity enact the same predictable horrors without cease…

DEREKSKI: Be completely TRAPPED in your silence. Be an ETERNAL SPECTATOR to a pageant that will never again admit you as a part.

DEREKSKI: Maybe one day, after MILLENNIA of loneliness, show up as a SMUDGE ON A SNAPSHOT during the narrow century when film photography is popular — but be simply explained away as a lens flare.

DEREKSKI: Or MAYBE you’ll have a RAD PARTY with TWENTY BILLION OTHER ghosts! Who the heck knows!

{{header: now haunting WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1005; Your Opportunities as a Ghost transcribed by in

[[DEREKSKI delivers his thesis.]]

DEREKSKI: There is ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE that ghosts exist! Or, put another way, humans CANNOT DETECT the actions of ghosts! Not at all! Not by ANY known means!

DEREKSKI: Which means once you DO become a ghost, you can do whatever you want! Sneak into movies! Peep at strangers! See what really happens behind closed doors! Visit anyplace you want! Walk onstage at the Grammys! Shout at the president while he's taking a leak!

DEREKSKI: Watch your children grow up! Watch the world you know grow strange and foreign. Watch humanity enact the same predictable horrors without cease...

DEREKSKI: Be completely TRAPPED in your silence. Be an ETERNAL SPECTATOR to a pageant that will never again admit you as a part.

DEREKSKI: Maybe one day, after MILLENNIA of loneliness, show up as a SMUDGE ON A SNAPSHOT during the narrow century when film photography is popular -- but be simply explained away as a lens flare.

DEREKSKI: Or MAYBE you'll have a RAD PARTY with TWENTY BILLION OTHER ghosts! Who the heck knows!

{{header: now haunting WONDERMARK.COM}}

Based on the evidence we have, both possibilities are technically equally likely. So if the latter seems LESS likely than the former, quite simply you are wrong because of math. Ghost fact

#1005; Your Opportunities as a Ghost

  — February 28th, 2014

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My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

September 2, 2026 by David Malki !

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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