Comic Transcripts

[[An elderly individual argues with a hyperactive youngster.]]
Businessperson: Giant mail-order firms willing to sacrifice profit margin for market share are destroying my independent retailer!
Child: Ha! YOUR business model is OUTDATED, DINOSAUR!

[[A second businessperson appears.]]
Businessperson 2: Criminal, unprosecuted misdeeds in the financial sector have decimated the national economy, resulting in decreased purchasing power among my customer base!
Child: Well BOO HOO for the BUGGY-WHIP MAKER!

[[A third individual appears.]]
Businessperson 3: Corporations have flooded Congress with lobbyist money to give them tax advantages that ultimately harm small businesses, the national job market and the consumer!
Child: SOB SOB SOB, Grandpa! SUCK IT UP and LEARN TO ADAPT!

[[A fourth.]]
Businessperson 4: Literally one hundred percent of my merchandise has been stolen from my warehouse by drug addicts
Child: Well YOU need to figure out how to MONETIZE that

{{header: good advice at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: “Kids keep shoplifting candy from my store!” / “Have you HEARD of KICKSTARTER”}}

#830; In which One Solution fits All transcribed by in

[[An elderly individual argues with a hyperactive youngster.]]
Businessperson: Giant mail-order firms willing to sacrifice profit margin for market share are destroying my independent retailer!
Child: Ha! YOUR business model is OUTDATED, DINOSAUR!

[[A second businessperson appears.]]
Businessperson 2: Criminal, unprosecuted misdeeds in the financial sector have decimated the national economy, resulting in decreased purchasing power among my customer base!
Child: Well BOO HOO for the BUGGY-WHIP MAKER!

[[A third individual appears.]]
Businessperson 3: Corporations have flooded Congress with lobbyist money to give them tax advantages that ultimately harm small businesses, the national job market and the consumer!
Child: SOB SOB SOB, Grandpa! SUCK IT UP and LEARN TO ADAPT!

[[A fourth.]]
Businessperson 4: Literally one hundred percent of my merchandise has been stolen from my warehouse by drug addicts
Child: Well YOU need to figure out how to MONETIZE that

{{header: good advice at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: “Kids keep shoplifting candy from my store!” / “Have you HEARD of KICKSTARTER”}}

#830; In which One Solution fits All transcribed by in

[[An elderly individual argues with a hyperactive youngster.]]
Businessperson: Giant mail-order firms willing to sacrifice profit margin for market share are destroying my independent retailer!
Child: Ha! YOUR business model is OUTDATED, DINOSAUR!

[[A second businessperson appears.]]
Businessperson 2: Criminal, unprosecuted misdeeds in the financial sector have decimated the national economy, resulting in decreased purchasing power among my customer base!
Child: Well BOO HOO for the BUGGY-WHIP MAKER!

[[A third individual appears.]]
Businessperson 3: Corporations have flooded Congress with lobbyist money to give them tax advantages that ultimately harm small businesses, the national job market and the consumer!
Child: SOB SOB SOB, Grandpa! SUCK IT UP and LEARN TO ADAPT!

[[A fourth.]]
Businessperson 4: Literally one hundred percent of my merchandise has been stolen from my warehouse by drug addicts
Child: Well YOU need to figure out how to MONETIZE that

{{header: good advice at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: "Kids keep shoplifting candy from my store!" / "Have you HEARD of KICKSTARTER"}}

''Kids keep shoplifting candy from my store!'' / ''Have you HEARD of KICKSTARTER''

#830; In which One Solution fits All

  — April 24th, 2012

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/830/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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