Comic Transcripts

DIANE: ?baby, this is going to be your wedding, too! What do you want?
BART: You’ve been asking me that for months and I think I finally have the answer. A COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST.

BART: Think about the weddings we’ve attended recently. Apparently everybody believes the event will be criminally under-documented. Everyone’s watching the ceremony through their camera. Might as well be watching on TV. At our wedding, we collect cameras at the door. We FRISK people.

BART: That way, the attendees can actually be present! Meanwhile, the sketch artist will sit in the corner and capture impressions of the ceremony. Later on we’ll send everybody a booklet of the drawings. Moments filtered in chalk, not razor-sharp photos of everybody’s dandruff.

DIANE: I see the appeal, but there’s a strange stilted undercurrent of being treated like criminals at our wedding.
BART: Fine, NEW idea – we dress like bank robbers and the minister is the flustered bank manager. The attendees all have to like on the floor and be very quiet NO HEROES

[[header: take it in at WONDERMARK.COM]]

[[alt-text: we do it in a bank and we rob the bank]]

#665; Seconds before the Elopement transcribed by in

DIANE: ?baby, this is going to be your wedding, too! What do you want?
BART: You’ve been asking me that for months and I think I finally have the answer. A COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST.

BART: Think about the weddings we’ve attended recently. Apparently everybody believes the event will be criminally under-documented. Everyone’s watching the ceremony through their camera. Might as well be watching on TV. At our wedding, we collect cameras at the door. We FRISK people.

BART: That way, the attendees can actually be present! Meanwhile, the sketch artist will sit in the corner and capture impressions of the ceremony. Later on we’ll send everybody a booklet of the drawings. Moments filtered in chalk, not razor-sharp photos of everybody’s dandruff.

DIANE: I see the appeal, but there’s a strange stilted undercurrent of being treated like criminals at our wedding.
BART: Fine, NEW idea – we dress like bank robbers and the minister is the flustered bank manager. The attendees all have to like on the floor and be very quiet NO HEROES

[[header: take it in at WONDERMARK.COM]]

[[alt-text: we do it in a bank and we rob the bank]]

#665; Seconds before the Elopement transcribed by in

DIANE: ?baby, this is going to be your wedding, too! What do you want?
BART: You've been asking me that for months and I think I finally have the answer. A COURTROOM SKETCH ARTIST.

BART: Think about the weddings we've attended recently. Apparently everybody believes the event will be criminally under-documented. Everyone's watching the ceremony through their camera. Might as well be watching on TV. At our wedding, we collect cameras at the door. We FRISK people.

BART: That way, the attendees can actually be present! Meanwhile, the sketch artist will sit in the corner and capture impressions of the ceremony. Later on we'll send everybody a booklet of the drawings. Moments filtered in chalk, not razor-sharp photos of everybody's dandruff.

DIANE: I see the appeal, but there's a strange stilted undercurrent of being treated like criminals at our wedding.
BART: Fine, NEW idea - we dress like bank robbers and the minister is the flustered bank manager. The attendees all have to like on the floor and be very quiet NO HEROES

[[header: take it in at WONDERMARK.COM]]

[[alt-text: we do it in a bank and we rob the bank]]

we do it in a bank and we rob the bank

Continued in: PART 2

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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