Check out: Poets Ranked by Beard Weight

A million billion people have sent me this link today! I am so glad I have fine eyes and ears out there to make me aware of things like this.

It is called ‘Poets Ranked by Beard Weight,’ and it purports to be:

…a classic of Edwardian esoterica, a privately printed leaflet offered by subscription to the informed man of fashion and as a divertissement au courant for reading bins and cocktail tables of parlor cars and libraries and smoking lounges of gentlemen’s clubs. [...] First published in England on the eve of The Great War, this quaint publication takes the reader on a fascinating excursion through such topics as False Beards, Merkins, and Capillamenta (chin wigs); Effusions of the Scalp and Face; Celebrated Chaetognaths (chaetognathous = hairy-jawed); and even includes an affectionate mini-essay about the wooly mammoth!

Well worth checking out. As for its Edwardian provenance, I’ll say only this: Many of the specific beard labels that this tract employs are shockingly familiar.

BONUS LINK: That this was a ‘Sponsored Link’ in my Gmail should give you an indication of the type of email I receive.


  • Adam

    Am I a bad person for reading the sponsored link as “goatseSaver” ? :(

  • John

    And since Coca Cola invented the modern image of Claus in the 1930s, it’s a bit anachronistic to refer to a beard as ‘Claus-esque’ in 1913.

  • Patrick

    goatseSaver would probably be infinitely better than the actual product.