Comic Transcripts

[[Two men walk together along a waterfront. One, FLIMSWORTH, looks around in wonder while the other, GRIMBOLET, in a top hat gestures welcomingly.]]

FLIMSWORTH: Wow…! What IS this place? It’s so clean…everyone’s happy… The streets are safe and kids run around till sundown!
GRIMBOLET: Welcome to FAUXTOPIA! The made-up utopian past that people keep talking about going back to!

GRIMBOLET: Everything in Fauxtopia is fair and efficient, because everyone in Fauxtopia takes PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their own well-being. And if they DON’T, the police are swift and just.
FLIMSWORTH: So do people voluntarily help the poor?
GRIMBOLET: There are no POORS in Fauxtopia! Everyone pulls themselves up by their own bootstraps, so everyone has an equal shot at the American Dream! And if they don’t, the police are swift and just.

GRIMBOLET: Taxes are low in Fauxtopia, so JOB CREATORS give everyone lucrative make-work! Incomes are high enough that WOMEN don’t even HAVE to work!
FLIMSWORTH: Uhh well okay. What if they WANT to?
GRIMBOLET: Then they’re WELCOME to! So long as it’s not the military or firefighting or something too MACHO for their delicate frames! And they don’t act bossy!

FLIMSWORTH (looking around): I notice there are no Black people in Fauxtopia.
GRIMBOLET: They…aren’t too keen on this place, for some reason? So we keep ’em over in a DIFFERENT Fauxtopia that’s separate but equal

{{header: the golden age of WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1161; A Truly Incredible Time transcribed by in

[[Two men walk together along a waterfront. One, FLIMSWORTH, looks around in wonder while the other, GRIMBOLET, in a top hat gestures welcomingly.]]

FLIMSWORTH: Wow...! What IS this place? It's so clean...everyone's happy... The streets are safe and kids run around till sundown!
GRIMBOLET: Welcome to FAUXTOPIA! The made-up utopian past that people keep talking about going back to!

GRIMBOLET: Everything in Fauxtopia is fair and efficient, because everyone in Fauxtopia takes PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their own well-being. And if they DON'T, the police are swift and just.
FLIMSWORTH: So do people voluntarily help the poor?
GRIMBOLET: There are no POORS in Fauxtopia! Everyone pulls themselves up by their own bootstraps, so everyone has an equal shot at the American Dream! And if they don't, the police are swift and just.

GRIMBOLET: Taxes are low in Fauxtopia, so JOB CREATORS give everyone lucrative make-work! Incomes are high enough that WOMEN don't even HAVE to work!
FLIMSWORTH: Uhh well okay. What if they WANT to?
GRIMBOLET: Then they're WELCOME to! So long as it's not the military or firefighting or something too MACHO for their delicate frames! And they don't act bossy!

FLIMSWORTH (looking around): I notice there are no Black people in Fauxtopia.
GRIMBOLET: They...aren't too keen on this place, for some reason? So we keep 'em over in a DIFFERENT Fauxtopia that's separate but equal

{{header: the golden age of WONDERMARK.COM}}

''Can I move here with my husband?'' ''Uhh, well, hmm, wow, geez would you look at the time''

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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