Comic Transcripts

[[Two men walk together along a waterfront. One, FLIMSWORTH, looks around in wonder while the other, GRIMBOLET, in a top hat gestures welcomingly.]]

FLIMSWORTH: Wow…! What IS this place? It’s so clean…everyone’s happy… The streets are safe and kids run around till sundown!
GRIMBOLET: Welcome to FAUXTOPIA! The made-up utopian past that people keep talking about going back to!

GRIMBOLET: Everything in Fauxtopia is fair and efficient, because everyone in Fauxtopia takes PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their own well-being. And if they DON’T, the police are swift and just.
FLIMSWORTH: So do people voluntarily help the poor?
GRIMBOLET: There are no POORS in Fauxtopia! Everyone pulls themselves up by their own bootstraps, so everyone has an equal shot at the American Dream! And if they don’t, the police are swift and just.

GRIMBOLET: Taxes are low in Fauxtopia, so JOB CREATORS give everyone lucrative make-work! Incomes are high enough that WOMEN don’t even HAVE to work!
FLIMSWORTH: Uhh well okay. What if they WANT to?
GRIMBOLET: Then they’re WELCOME to! So long as it’s not the military or firefighting or something too MACHO for their delicate frames! And they don’t act bossy!

FLIMSWORTH (looking around): I notice there are no Black people in Fauxtopia.
GRIMBOLET: They…aren’t too keen on this place, for some reason? So we keep ’em over in a DIFFERENT Fauxtopia that’s separate but equal

{{header: the golden age of WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1161; A Truly Incredible Time transcribed by in

[[Two men walk together along a waterfront. One, FLIMSWORTH, looks around in wonder while the other, GRIMBOLET, in a top hat gestures welcomingly.]]

FLIMSWORTH: Wow...! What IS this place? It's so clean...everyone's happy... The streets are safe and kids run around till sundown!
GRIMBOLET: Welcome to FAUXTOPIA! The made-up utopian past that people keep talking about going back to!

GRIMBOLET: Everything in Fauxtopia is fair and efficient, because everyone in Fauxtopia takes PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their own well-being. And if they DON'T, the police are swift and just.
FLIMSWORTH: So do people voluntarily help the poor?
GRIMBOLET: There are no POORS in Fauxtopia! Everyone pulls themselves up by their own bootstraps, so everyone has an equal shot at the American Dream! And if they don't, the police are swift and just.

GRIMBOLET: Taxes are low in Fauxtopia, so JOB CREATORS give everyone lucrative make-work! Incomes are high enough that WOMEN don't even HAVE to work!
FLIMSWORTH: Uhh well okay. What if they WANT to?
GRIMBOLET: Then they're WELCOME to! So long as it's not the military or firefighting or something too MACHO for their delicate frames! And they don't act bossy!

FLIMSWORTH (looking around): I notice there are no Black people in Fauxtopia.
GRIMBOLET: They...aren't too keen on this place, for some reason? So we keep 'em over in a DIFFERENT Fauxtopia that's separate but equal

{{header: the golden age of WONDERMARK.COM}}

''Can I move here with my husband?'' ''Uhh, well, hmm, wow, geez would you look at the time''

New ways to get Bolted!

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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