Comic Transcripts

[[A drowning individual cries for help while a wealthy-looking citizen turns a blind eye. The water looks less than a foot deep, but the drowning person is lying on his back, unable to stand up.]]
Drowning Person: HELP! Please help me up!
Aristocrat: I shan’t! I KNOW you wet people!
Aristocrat: It’s just a ploy to get me close so you can pick my pocket!

Aristocrat: Besides, you probably fell in of your own accord! HOW are you to learn to stay dry if I HELP you?
Drowning Person: Someone pushed me in… I was once as dry as you!

Aristocrat: A likely story. If you don’t admit your own faults, how will you EVER improve?
Aristocrat: Just get up! It doesn’t look deep.

Drowning Person: I twisted my ankle when I fell. Just a hand for a moment, please…
Aristocrat: I’d rather let a HUNDRED MEN DROWN than accidentally help ONE whose misfortune is JUSTIFIED.
Aristocrat: If there is the SLIGHTEST chance that you brought this condition upon yourself, you DESERVE to sit there.

[[Another elderly person joins in on the conversation.]]
Commentator: Water vagrant. This lake used to be NICE.
Aristocrat: Miserable. Someone should DO something for the poor creatures.

{{header: drift over to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Really, I’d rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all}}

#1122; In which a Man Drowns transcribed by in

[[A drowning individual cries for help while a wealthy-looking citizen turns a blind eye. The water looks less than a foot deep, but the drowning person is lying on his back, unable to stand up.]]
Drowning Person: HELP! Please help me up!
Aristocrat: I shan’t! I KNOW you wet people!
Aristocrat: It’s just a ploy to get me close so you can pick my pocket!

Aristocrat: Besides, you probably fell in of your own accord! HOW are you to learn to stay dry if I HELP you?
Drowning Person: Someone pushed me in… I was once as dry as you!

Aristocrat: A likely story. If you don’t admit your own faults, how will you EVER improve?
Aristocrat: Just get up! It doesn’t look deep.

Drowning Person: I twisted my ankle when I fell. Just a hand for a moment, please…
Aristocrat: I’d rather let a HUNDRED MEN DROWN than accidentally help ONE whose misfortune is JUSTIFIED.
Aristocrat: If there is the SLIGHTEST chance that you brought this condition upon yourself, you DESERVE to sit there.

[[Another elderly person joins in on the conversation.]]
Commentator: Water vagrant. This lake used to be NICE.
Aristocrat: Miserable. Someone should DO something for the poor creatures.

{{header: drift over to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Really, I’d rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all}}

#1122; In which a Man Drowns transcribed by in

[[A drowning individual cries for help while a wealthy-looking citizen turns a blind eye. The water looks less than a foot deep, but the drowning person is lying on his back, unable to stand up.]]
Drowning Person: HELP! Please help me up!
Aristocrat: I shan't! I KNOW you wet people!
Aristocrat: It's just a ploy to get me close so you can pick my pocket!

Aristocrat: Besides, you probably fell in of your own accord! HOW are you to learn to stay dry if I HELP you?
Drowning Person: Someone pushed me in... I was once as dry as you!

Aristocrat: A likely story. If you don't admit your own faults, how will you EVER improve?
Aristocrat: Just get up! It doesn't look deep.

Drowning Person: I twisted my ankle when I fell. Just a hand for a moment, please...
Aristocrat: I'd rather let a HUNDRED MEN DROWN than accidentally help ONE whose misfortune is JUSTIFIED.
Aristocrat: If there is the SLIGHTEST chance that you brought this condition upon yourself, you DESERVE to sit there.

[[Another elderly person joins in on the conversation.]]
Commentator: Water vagrant. This lake used to be NICE.
Aristocrat: Miserable. Someone should DO something for the poor creatures.

{{header: drift over to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Really, I'd rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all}}

Really, I'd rather let a hundred men drown than do almost anything at all

#1122; In which a Man Drowns

  — May 5th, 2015

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1122/

Buy a Print

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


Recent blog posts