Comic Transcripts

MARIO: The secret to avoiding parking tickets is to look like you already have a parking ticket. [[He gestures to an envelope marked VIOLATION on his windshield.]] With an envelope already under your wiper, you can park anywhere you want!

AMBROSE: But won’t the officer making the rounds know whether he’s given you one? Won’t he check the date and time of the existing citation?
MARIO: Let him! He’ll find a citation with today’s date for this exact point on the street. Photoshop lets me customize it for anywhere I park.

AMBROSE: So you plan out where you’re going to illegally park and print fake citations ahead of time? Or do you just print a dozen citations every morning for whatever times you think you might need?
MARIO: Yeah, I’ve got a macro. It’s actually not that much trouble once you make it a habit.

AMBROSE: ?you realize you’re probably spending more on paper and ink and time than the actual citations would cost.
MARIO: Ah, but ruining one’s own life by choice is the very definition of liberty.

{{header: take time for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: ‘Can you believe Mario carries around a box of pre-printed tickets everywhere he goes?’ ‘I know, what a moron! I just keep a color printer plugged into the cigarette lighter.’}}

#664; Spite is the Father of Invention transcribed by in

MARIO: The secret to avoiding parking tickets is to look like you already have a parking ticket. [[He gestures to an envelope marked VIOLATION on his windshield.]] With an envelope already under your wiper, you can park anywhere you want!

AMBROSE: But won’t the officer making the rounds know whether he’s given you one? Won’t he check the date and time of the existing citation?
MARIO: Let him! He’ll find a citation with today’s date for this exact point on the street. Photoshop lets me customize it for anywhere I park.

AMBROSE: So you plan out where you’re going to illegally park and print fake citations ahead of time? Or do you just print a dozen citations every morning for whatever times you think you might need?
MARIO: Yeah, I’ve got a macro. It’s actually not that much trouble once you make it a habit.

AMBROSE: ?you realize you’re probably spending more on paper and ink and time than the actual citations would cost.
MARIO: Ah, but ruining one’s own life by choice is the very definition of liberty.

{{header: take time for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: ‘Can you believe Mario carries around a box of pre-printed tickets everywhere he goes?’ ‘I know, what a moron! I just keep a color printer plugged into the cigarette lighter.’}}

#664; Spite is the Father of Invention transcribed by in

MARIO: The secret to avoiding parking tickets is to look like you already have a parking ticket. [[He gestures to an envelope marked VIOLATION on his windshield.]] With an envelope already under your wiper, you can park anywhere you want!

AMBROSE: But won't the officer making the rounds know whether he's given you one? Won't he check the date and time of the existing citation?
MARIO: Let him! He'll find a citation with today's date for this exact point on the street. Photoshop lets me customize it for anywhere I park.

AMBROSE: So you plan out where you're going to illegally park and print fake citations ahead of time? Or do you just print a dozen citations every morning for whatever times you think you might need?
MARIO: Yeah, I've got a macro. It's actually not that much trouble once you make it a habit.

AMBROSE: ?you realize you're probably spending more on paper and ink and time than the actual citations would cost.
MARIO: Ah, but ruining one's own life by choice is the very definition of liberty.

{{header: take time for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: 'Can you believe Mario carries around a box of pre-printed tickets everywhere he goes?' 'I know, what a moron! I just keep a color printer plugged into the cigarette lighter.'}}

'Can you believe Mario carries around a file box of pre-printed tickets everywhere he goes?' 'I know, what a moron! I just keep a color printer plugged into the cigarette lighter'

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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