My parody Victorian novel series, Dispatches from Wondermark Manor, is now available for the Kindle!
The 500-page paperback edition is also now on Amazon too, if you like. Or, get it from TopatoCo!
(Here it is on Goodreads too, if you’ve already read it.)
I’m super-duper impressed with the image fidelity on the Kindle, and I think it represents the pictures in the book extraordinarily well. Hope you enjoy it!
I’ve done one single run of my popular “Steam Powered Heart” design on black shirts! These are American Apparel BB401 (men’s/unisex poly/cotton) for an extremely soft, comfortable fit. Modeled above by my friend Phill. (Check out his dancepop group, The Vice Junkies.) This is a one-run-only shirt, so supplies are limited to stock on hand. Available now!
(Of course the regular [brown] edition of Steam Powered Heart is still available right here at TopatoCo.)
ALSO: I have come into possession of a number of misprinted “Engineering: It’s Like Math, But Louder” shirts. UPDATE: These are all sold out! But you can still look at them, below.
The regular, perfect versions are here at TopatoCo, but right now in my office I have shirts that exhibit the following problems, which are a more-or-less comprehensive inventory of things that can go wrong with a shirt. (Click for closer views)
The ink is scratched. Pulled off the press too soon? Wrinkle? Something on the printing screen? Don’t know, don’t care.
This one is way over-inked. Maybe it got printed twice? Three times? Possibly up to a hundred times.
This one has some stray ink on it. The ink has wandered away from home in hopes of finding a more loving family. Will it learn its lesson? No, because it was then cooked in (the wrong) place.
There are two like this, in which the background explosion became a little TOO excited and spattered into the foreground. But NO that is BAD that is INCORRECT.
This shirt was printed off-register. The colors don’t quite match up properly. It’s got that “hip” “vintage” “messed-up” “done incorrectly” look.
The shoulders of this shirt are very slightly bleached orange. How did this happen? Does the factory keep bleach-soaked hangers on standby, and then once a day choose to put a shirt on one of them?
This one has what looks like the residue of a marker on it? It’s hard to make out, but the marks are there — no ink, just lines. Maybe someone tried to write on this shirt with a Sharpie that had run out of ink, and just the alcohol solvent came out? “Hmm,” they thought, “that didn’t work the way I expected. Better ship this shirt to an unsuspecting customer.”
I’m not quite sure what’s going on here, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be this way.
I think it’s incredibly progressive and inclusive of the American Apparel factory to hire sewing workers with debilitating neurological disorders.
There’s one with a hole in it too, but I’m keeping it for church.
If your desire for SAVINGS outweighs your desire for PRODUCT INTEGRITY, these problem children are for sale for $13 right here.
I’m super-pleased to announce some neat new things for the holidays! Quick links:
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Here is a new shirt based on my Rules poster!
Here it is! The unisex shirt is a white ringer; the ladies’ cut is solid navy. I’ve also taken care to print the ladies’ shirts on a 50/50 cotton/polyester blend — it’s the same fabric as my “Revolution” shirt and will probably be the softest shirt you own.
WHAT REVOLUTION SHIRT, YOU SAY?
Why, this one! In this picture Tiffany is putting an “L” to her forehead to indicate “Listen, did you know that you save $5 automatically when you buy any three shirts from TopatoCo? Shirts such as…”
“…Steam-Powered Heart, or even…”
“…Engineering: Like Math But Louder.”
It’s a very complicated gesture, you see.
SPEAKING OF PICTURES — Classy Photo Contest winners will be announced next week! Thanks so much for your entries, they are delightful.
Buy the new “Take it Apart” shirt at TopatoCo!
Perhaps you have enjoyed the “Nominally-Essential Tinkerer’s Handbook,” my eight-page series celebrating the inability to leave well enough alone.
Now, I’m pleased to announce that you if you get one of my Builder’s, Crafter’s, Maker’s Rules posters, or my Engineering: It’s Like Math (But Louder) shirts, you can add on a pocket-sized version of the full Tinkerer’s Handbook! You can also get one with Jeph Jacques’ Science is a Verb Now shirt.
The pocket version is a full 12 pages (I added some new stuff to make the printing easier) and makes a perfect stocking stuffer for that person in your life who doesn’t see the problem with getting sawdust all over the kitchen counter.
ALSO
We’ve got a new Volume 2 infographic and multi-themed Prediction Card Sets over at Machine of Death! If you’d like to help us game-test some new MOD card games developed by our cadre of volunteer testers, I’m holding another play session tomorrow afternoon (Saturday the 15th) in Los Angeles. You’re invited! More about that here; please RSVP if you’d like to come! UPDATE: We’re full up for this round! Thanks everyone!
In tenth-grade chemistry, I converted my name to an unpronounceable symbol, like Prince was doing at the time.
As I recall it was a bunch of math gibberish, like a compound expression inside a cube root, and Kilroy was peeking over the top of it, and the whole thing had an integral or something too. Mrs. Stockwell was tolerant enough to let me use the symbol on all my classwork, even going so far as to ask me which ASCII symbol she should use for me in the computer where she kept the grades.
The Student Formerly Known as David Malki (these antics preceded, and I suppose foreshadowed, the exclamation point) is no longer, but my fascination with preposterous semiotics continues. Thus my new shirt. Enjoy!
I’m pleased to announce that the “Tinkerer’s Rules” comic from the other week is now available as a 16″ x 20″ poster, suitable for classing up any office, workspace, project-cave, studio, creative den, bureau of wizardry, Ministry of Clever Thoughts, or crawlspace-under-the-stairs.
My good friends at TopatoCo will pack it up and ship it to you post-haste! Or, bundle it with any other clever poster to save on shipping.
Folks have also asked about getting the entire “Tinkerer’s Rules” as a booklet — I am taking it under advisement. For now, the poster’s the thing!
Dare I say…Father’s Day gift? Dare I?
You may remember this piece I made for Brandon Bird’s Law & Order-themed gallery show earlier this year! It features an incredibly historically-accurate account of curious and suspicious murders. It has been newly colored by the kind and fruitful Marcus Thiele (whom you may also recognize from his wonderful illustration in Machine of Death), and I have made it into a brand-new poster! I think it looks great on any wall and hopefully you will too.
The Homicides poster is the first of three brand-new TopatoCo products I’m offering this holiday season. (These are separate from the holiday cards and calendars in my in-house store.) The second is a new poster version of “The Matter of the Envelopes”:
Just choose “The Matter of the Envelopes” from the drop-down menu here. Now, each individual episode is already available as a single print, like any other Wondermark comic, but since Comics #670-674 were a single story arc I thought it’d be neat to combine them into a large poster as well. Over at the Poster Shoppe I offer large-format versions of all the larger comics, plus #463, the Back to the Future parody.
And a new T-shirt as well! Based on what may be the most popular comic I’ve ever done — certainly in the top ten. Hooray!
These are the only new TopatoCo products I’ll be releasing this holiday season so there’s no need to wait; please commence gift-buying for all your cleverest friends and relatives. TopatoCo has posted holiday ordering deadlines as well.
I say it often, but it bears repeating: thank you so much for your kind patronage year-round. It allows me to spend all my time making fun and interesting things for you, and I love every second of it. You are the best!
Since I announced the pre-order on Tuesday, we have sold an amazing 117 units — meaning there are only 58 left! At this rate, not everyone who wants one will be able to get one, so don’t delay. Order yours now.
Thank you kindly for the great advice regarding my plastics conundrum! I have been in touch with several kind individuals and I hope to have the situation well in hand forthwith.
I am also pleased to announce that the 2011 Wondermark Calendar is now available for pre-order!
This will be the fourth year I’ve offered the calendar, and every year they sell out. The calendars are produced by hand and are individually signed and numbered! They’re mailed in the order that they were ordered, so the first buyer will get #1 (which is already gone!) and the last, #175. To get the lowest possible number, order now! Do the numbers matter? Not to me. But maybe to you???
Last year I wrote a very detailed explanation of how we create the calendars. I looked back through it today and I’m really pleased with how it reads! If you missed it last year, definitely take a look. I think it’s pretty interesting!
IN OTHER NEWS
Here are three brand-new Monocle Poppers™ holiday cards I’ve created just for you:
These add to my existing catalog of holiday cards to make nine designs total! Plus the various blank notecards, thank-you cards and the all-powerful Every Occasion Card. And remember that you get steep discounts for multiple cards! Basically what I am saying is that I got you covered. If you need cards, I am your man.
SPECIAL NOTE: The calendars will ship later in December, but I know you need holiday cards in-hand earlier so I’ll be sending all card orders out ASAP. Feel free to combine both in one order, and I’ll send the cards out right away even if the calendar has to follow later on.
(Non-US customers: Priority Mail is always your better bet in terms of expedient shipping. International First Class simply cannot be predicted nor guaranteed.)
FINALLY
Here is a new offering in the ol’ dry-goods concern: loose pages from old books for use in crafting, collage, or really anything you like (I won’t judge):
These are the lovely remnants after I have mined old volumes for their usable images! I am making them available in packs of about 100 pages each. See, I’m starting to fill box after box with these pages and I figure someone else can put them to better use than I can! They’d be great for all sorts of craft projects or just lining a drawer in that armoire you found on Craigslist.
Some covers are available too, for your journal or what-have-you! You do what you like. I’m just the enabler.
AND A BRIEF NOTE
Regarding Wondermark books, posters, shirts etc. from TopatoCo: that fine institution has posted its holiday ordering guidelines which I recommend taking a hearty peek at! However I will also mention that I do have one brand-new shirt in the TopatoCo pipeline which has yet to appear — hopefully that will show its face soon.
SO THAT’S WHAT I GOT
For some of you, this image is all you need to know.
You remember my call for submissions for this anthology, based on a Dinosaur Comic that postulated the idea of a machine that could predict how a person would die. You recall me talking about the 700 submissions we received, and how we whittled it down to 30. You’ve asked me at conventions for the last four years — “When’s Machine of Death coming out? What’s the story with that? I really want to read that book!”
The answer is: October 26. Tuesday.
For the unfamiliar, here’s a bit of the premise:
The machine had been invented a few years ago: a machine that could tell, from just a sample of your blood, how you were going to die. It didn’t give you the date and it didn’t give you specifics. It just spat out a sliver of paper upon which were printed, in careful block letters, the words DROWNED or CANCER or OLD AGE or CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. It let people know how they were going to die.
The problem with the machine is that nobody really knew how it worked, which wouldn’t actually have been that much of a problem if the machine worked as well as we wished it would. But the machine was frustratingly vague in its predictions: dark, and seemingly delighting in the ambiguities of language. OLD AGE, it had already turned out, could mean either dying of natural causes, or shot by a bedridden man in a botched home invasion. The machine captured that old-world sense of irony in death — you can know how it’s going to happen, but you’ll still be surprised when it does.
There were now machines in every doctor’s office and in booths at the mall. You could pay someone or you could probably get it done for free, but the result was the same no matter what machine you went to. They were, at least, consistent.
The book contains 34 stories by folks such as me, Ryan North, Randall Munroe, Shaenon Garrity, Yahtzee Croshaw, Erin McKean, James Lafond Sutter and a bunch of other great people. The stories are illustrated by folks such as Kate Beaton, Kazu Kibuishi, Aaron Diaz, Karl Kerschl, Jeffrey Brown, Scott Campbell, Cameron Stewart, Adam Koford and just too many more people to list. (Although at that link we try.) We’re also doing an audiobook that’s narrated by folks I can’t even mention yet.
Here is the significance of October 26 specifically:
It only takes a few hundred sales in a short time to become a Number One bestseller on Amazon.com.
So even though the book is available for purchase now, we want to concentrate all the attention onto October 26. Blog about it, tweet about it, invite your friends to the Facebook event — just spread the word that October 26 is the day to buy Machine of Death on Amazon.
We talk about the whole deal some more at the official Machine of Death site:
The simple truth is that we probably can’t compete on the shelves at Barnes & Noble alongside every other book in the world. The agents and the publishers are right; it might not work for a mass market. That’s okay. We don’t need to sell it to everyone. We don’t need to sell 100,000 copies; we don’t have the rent on a New York office to pay for.
We only need to sell it to you.
On October 26, we want to send a message that a little project dragged kicking and screaming from “crazy idea” past “it’ll never work” all the way to “By God, they actually did it” can make a big splash. We’re internet people; you are too. We want to prove to all the people who said “this will never sell” that internet people make things happen.
Here’s the link to that post explaining everything: http://machineofdeath.net/a/mod-day
Here’s the book on Amazon — tack your own affiliate link on there and make a few bucks, we don’t mind: http://machineofdeath.net/oct26/
Here’s the Facebook event.
Here’s our faces when everybody pitches in and we take the world by storm: 
Buy it on October 26! Spread the word! And thank you!
