Another in the “Rejected by McSweeney’s” category.
Instant Messages I Would Send if the EMP Bomb Hadn’t Permanently Destroyed All Electronics Worldwide
hey R U online? txt me im just sittin here in the dark with no tv lol
wind-up radios suXX >:O i feel like im in the 18th centyry
omg mysis was like “do we get to eat all the icecream now” and I was all “the freezer still works!!!!” srsly she is so stupid
OMG I just realized is your granddad ok? b/c of his pacemaker txt me
these crazy ppl just showed up w/beards and started shouting thru the windows for like 2hrs. but i dont no what they wanted!!!! i cant googl to lookup what “vapid consumptivist sheep” meanz :”’( i mean i know sheep but the rest??
an airline jsut crashed thru the school!! haha i hope ms. fagghorn was inside XD
arggg i just had a kick@$$ idea for a facebook grp!! “WHO H8S CANDLELITE” this sux how did ppl in midivial times ever have friends
brb — dfp (dyin frm pneumonia)