Comments on: Genre microfiction

By: David Bofinger

David Bofinger — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 01:43:48 +0000

By the path of the tear, Watson, we can determine the victim was unmarried when the cancer was discovered.

[Sherlock Holmes]

So we drip upwards, tears against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the eyes.

[The Great Gatsby]

By: Too Late

Too Late — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:38:25 +0000

blushingbride1988: i have cancer
gr00mtobe: orly?
blushingbride1988: yarly no joke
gr00mtobe: u must be jking
blushingbride1988: no im not
gr00mtobe: omgomgomgomg wut about our wedding
blushingbride1988: i gess we shud cancel the dj

[im talk]

By: Blooms

Blooms — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:53:20 +0000

On my wedding day I will cry because:
[ ] I’m so happy!
[ ] The groom is somehow wearing that horrible old tie that really doesn’t work with my dress even though I bought him a nice new one weeks ago.
[ ] I’m getting married, duh!
[ ] I’m dying from cancer.

[stupid "know yourself" quiz]

By: Dangerous Dan, The World's Deadliest Man

Dangerous Dan, The World's Deadliest Man — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:46:26 +0000

A final tear slid down the senator’s cheek. Anthrax/VX poison gas/nuclear attack! On Inauguration Day!

[Tom Clancy]

By: Eyes Glued Shut

Eyes Glued Shut — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:36:40 +0000

A fumscullious tear ran down her scrumdiddlyumptous cheek. A cell gone scuzzled off its wump! On our wedding day!

(Roald Dahl)

At Hauskuldstede, in Laxriverdale, dwelt a man named Hauskuld, who was Dalakoll’s son, and his mother’s name was Thorgerda, who had a brother named Hrut, dwelling at Hrutstede. Hauskuld had a daughter to be married to Farfrig, son of Vjaskeld and Brumhilda. Hauskuld said to Hrut, “Is she not fair?” Hrut answered, “Fair indeed, but whence in our family came the cancerous growths, I know not.” And Hauskuld was wroth, as tears did slide down the maiden’s cheek.

(Norse saga)

By: King AdBeck

King AdBeck — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:41:12 +0000

“An easily-avoided tear dripped down her disappointed cheek. Erectile dysfunction! On our honeymoon!”

[Pharmaceutical brochure / late-night infomercial]

By: Kansas

Kansas — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 05:38:19 +0000

Re-write this passage, correcting errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation:

Dripping down her cheek, I observed a tear. Its her weeding day, she has Cancer. [standardized test study guide]

By: Tamary

Tamary — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:52:46 +0000

When you said your fiancee was drop-dead gorgeous . . .
. . . I didn’t realize you meant it literally! Condolences.

[horrible greeting card from the "Sympathy-Humorous" section]

By: Faid

Faid — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:00:08 +0000

I fed the river with a tear, as on its banks I sat and wept. A ‘cease and desist’ order by Borges! On the day my fey beloved I am to wed!

[Paulo Coelho]

By: AJ

AJ — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 09:12:43 +0000

The Husband:
“A final tear dripped down her dying cheek. Cancer! On our wedding day!”

The Physician:
“I cried – I had so nearly saved the patient, only to lose her in the end. All my staff were heroes today.”

The wife (speaking through a medium)
“That tear was not mine, but his! Death held no terror, compared to living with him… ”

The cancer (who later adopts an orphan [?]) :
“HAHAHAHAHA!! How pathetic they are! But I can’t take the credit – it was the Doctor’s fault she died!”

[Akira Kurosawa]