Free Dick Van Patten stickers

I work from a small office/studio here in Los Angeles. The previous tenant was a management company of some small repute. Apparently the company did an event with Dick Van Patten (of Eight is Enough and artisanal dog food fame). As far as I can tell, it was a one-off event, and Mr. Van Patten was not a regular client of this management company.

HOWEVER, I occasionally receive letters here at the office made out to Mr. Van Patten, care of the management company. The letter in the picture above, received today, is the fourth or fifth (from different people) since I moved in two years ago. This DESPITE the fact that if I Google “Dick Van Patten mailing address” there are SEVERAL potential addresses that result, exactly ZERO of which are mine. I figure my address got somehow added to a shoddy database somewhere, one that seems to be only accessible to strange old ladies who want to request signatures on ancient trading cards, or notes of encouragement for ailing relatives.

Needless to say, despite any sympathy I may have for their various plights, I am not Dick Van Patten, nor can I speak for him in any way. So I made the following label to return today’s letter safely to its sender:

Hopefully that should clear up any confusion.

As I mentioned the other day, I’ve just released my new holiday cards for the season!

I’ve also just stocked the store with copies of our new, cheap-as-possible Machine of Death Disposable Edition as well as a few copies we have of some of the various MOD foreign editions (German, Spanish, French, and Italian).

And my Hyperbolic Upgrade Stickers make great stocking stuffers!

I’ll get to the point: any order from my in-house store between now and Christmas gets a free RETURN TO SENDER – DICK VAN PATTEN IS NOT AT THIS ADDRESS sticker tossed in as well. That’s right, FREE. Never again will you be powerless to respond when Dick Van Patten’s mail is mistakenly delivered to your address.

oh and let’s keep this real quiet for now

but I put my 2013 calendars up for pre-order UPDATE: They’re all gone!