Video: convention theme song

The day at the STAPLE! show started a little slow, so we thought we’d try a little reverse psychology:

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The great part about this song is that it’s equally applicable to any convention or trade show in any industry.  I predict it being a convention classic for basically everyone forever.

Here are the lyrics:

Don’t come over to look at our stuff
Nothing is for sale you see
We set up this table just for our health
Stacked it high with mediocrity
We paid money to ruin your day
We’re only here ironically anyway
We hope you avoid us, keep your cash in your pants
By the way we all have the plague

<em>(chorus)
This half the room completely sucks
And if you think we want your bucks
We’ll throw your money in your face
And hit you with a shot of mace
You clearly fail to understand
That we’re not here to serve The Man
There’s nothing worse than selling out
Yeah we don’t like you
Get the hell out</em>

You don’t get us, we’re too frikkin rad
I’m pretty sure that you are retarded
Our massive genius is over your head
We hope you walk on by brokenhearted
Better yet just turn around and leave
We’re not here to make any money
We have some endowment that makes us all dicks
And we don’t think your T-shirt is funny

<em>(repeat chorus)</em>

We hate that people think we’re here
To give them stuff to buy
Folks don’t get that we prefer
To make your children cry
We hate that people think we’re here
To give them stuff to buy
Folks don’t get that we prefer
To make your children cry


  • http://www.staple-austin.org Uncle Staple

    You’re not all that bad – ever do kareoke?