Comic Transcripts

HAP: I need to use a computer. Just real quick. I have to look up an email for a meeting.
CURTIS: Computers are pay-per-minute.
HAP: That’s fine. I literally only need it for thirty seconds.

[[Despite ridiculous prices and consistently horrible customer service, Kinko’s somehow stays in business.]]
HAP: It’s taken TEN MINUTES just to log on!
CURTIS: Ten minutes at a DOLLAR A MINUTE!

{{header: complicate your life at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The man is checking his email for the steps to a dance that will forcibly repel ants from his trousers. He has a chronic condition.}}

#396; In which Trade Secrets are revealed transcribed by in

HAP: I need to use a computer. Just real quick. I have to look up an email for a meeting.
CURTIS: Computers are pay-per-minute.
HAP: That's fine. I literally only need it for thirty seconds.

[[Despite ridiculous prices and consistently horrible customer service, Kinko's somehow stays in business.]]
HAP: It's taken TEN MINUTES just to log on!
CURTIS: Ten minutes at a DOLLAR A MINUTE!

{{header: complicate your life at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The man is checking his email for the steps to a dance that will forcibly repel ants from his trousers. He has a chronic condition.}}

The man is checking his email for the steps to a dance that will forcibly repel ants from his trousers. He has a chronic condition.

#396; In which Trade Secrets are revealed

  — April 4th, 2008

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/396/

Was I lying on Tuesday? Possibly. Was it all a grand April Fool’s gag that everyone took as a lighthearted jest? Judging from the many heartfelt emails, perhaps not. Thank you for the kind support, everyone! Back to Victorian engravings we go.

Here’s something that will make it up to you: the online anthology Dark Horse Presents has just published an original 8-page Wondermark story! A spiritual successor to my print-only comic book Treachery!, the new story is entitled Ransom!, and was a ton of fun to make. It contains Victorian engravings aplenty, people who emailed me

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Bolted! Fulfillment Update

May 25, 2026 by David Malki !
Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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